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oxer 
Hope no one minds but I am going to ramble on a llitle.
Today and tonight I feel uptight and down. I had an incident at work yesterday that mada me really upset to the point where i cried etc,. So that night I decided to write a letter to my PSY. DOC. I debated showing it to him. Instead I made an emergancy appointment with him today. We discussed what had taken place. Most of it was that i should tell the person to go to hell (sorry for the lanquage) and remember that this will pass and that i should not be hard on myself as I am a "better person then that" . I told him also that i had SI and he just said "no don't go there". One thing that bothers me is that at one point he said he doesnn't understand why i would want to kill myself.
He meant however that i was better then that. He also asked me to not play games with him. Trust me that is one thing I don't want and have tried not to do.
He did help me remember that at some point in my life someone made me feel like i was not capable. That reminds me of another therapist i saw you said somewhere I learned that my feelings were wrong when in fact they are only just feelings.
I still have the letter i wrote and i might just show it to my doc still even though it a done deal.
Is it wrong but I need for him to understand how SI I feel.
I mean have you ever gotten to the point where you did not feel safe?
Well even though I feel SI i am trying to take it one day at a time if you know what i mean?
Bye for now. Thanks for any support.
