cutesy's Journal

HI THERE FRIENDS! I KNOW, I KNOW IT SURE HAS BEEN A WHILE FOR ME! WELL, I HAVE BEEN BUSY WITH TAKING CARE OF MY DAD AND MY HUSBAND AND ME OF COURSE! MY

DAD DID GET OUT OF THE HOSPITAL, I BELIEVE IT WAS AROUND LATE FEBRUARY. HE WAS DOING PRETTY GOOD, THEN NOW HE IS BACK INTO THE HOSPITAL! I AM THROUGHLY EXHAUSTED, AND SEEMS LIKE MORE AND MORE PAIN EVERYDAY! IT HAS ALWAYS ATTACKED MY LEGS AND ANKLES AND FEET, LET ALONE THE REST OF MY BODY! I SEEM TO BE UP FOR A WHILE WHEN I DO WAKE UP AROUND 11:00AM - 12:00NOON, AND WITHIN A COUPLE TO THREE HOURS I AM COMPLETELY EXHAUSTED! MY CHRONIC FATIGUE IS GETTING ME DOWN AND MY PAIN, SO I AM FEELING ALOT OF DEPRESSION LATELY ALSO. I AM THINKING OF SEEING MY PSYCHIATRIST THAT I HAVEN'T SEEN IN ABOUT 9MTHS. TO CHECK AND SEE IF I NEED A DIFFERENT DOSAGE OR A DIFFERENT MED OR SOMETHING??  WELL, LIKE I SAID MY DAD IS BACK INTO THE HOSPITAL AGAIN! HE WENT IN LAST MONDAY, HE WAS BECOMING VERY,, VERY TIRED AND SLEEPING ALOT LIKE ME! HE HAS NOT HAD ANY APPETITE AND SEEMED CONFUSED HERE AND THERE. SO, THE ONE DAY ON THAT MONDAY A WEEK OR SO AGO, WE WOKE HIM UP FOR SUPPER AND HE WAS COMPLETELY CONFUSED, HE DIDN'T KNOW WHAT WAS GOING ON, HE WAS MUMBLING AND NOT MAKING ANY SENSE AT ALL! ALSO, WHEN HE TRIED TO GET UP HIS LEGS WOULD GIVE UP ON HIM! SO, TERRY MY HUSBAND HAD TO CATCH HIM EVERY TIME HE TRIED TO WALK! WE GOT REALLY WORRIED SO WE TOOK HIM DIRECTLY TO THE EMERGENCY. THEY WERE VERY BUSY THERE SO THEY HAD TO KEEP HIM IN A BED IN THE EMERGENCY FOR MOST OF THE WEEK HE FINALLY GOT A ROOM ON THURSDAY, WITH THREE OTHER MALE PATIENTS WITH HIM. THEY HAVE BEEN TAKING MRI, BLOOD TESTS, THE WHOLE 9 YARDS TO FIGURE OUT WHAT THE HECK HAD HAPPENED TO HIM??? WELL, STILL TODAY THEY HAVEN'T FIGURED IT OUT, HE WAS STILL QUITE CONFUSED FOR THE FEW DAYS IN THE ER AND NOW HE SEEMS TO HAVE BECOME BACK TO HIS NORMAL SELF, THANK GOD. I HAVE BEEN CLEANING HIS BEDDING AND STRAIGHTENING OUT HIS BEDROOM WHILE HE HAS BEEN IN THE HOSPITAL, AND EXPECTING HIM TO COME HOME SOON ENOUGH. BOY, WAS I MISTAKEN! I GUESS THEY AND MY DAD HAVE COME TO THE CONCLUSION THAT HE CAN'T COME BACK AND LIVE WITH US AGAIN! HE IS TOO UNSTABLE ON HIS FEET AND HE EVEN HAD TALKED TO ME BEFORE HE GOT INTO THE HOSPITAL THAT HE SEEMED TO FEEL LIKE HE WAS GETTING TO BE A BURDEN ON ME. I SAID NO DAD BUT I DID THINK ABOUT IT AND I GUESS FOR HIS AND OUR SAFETY IT IS THE BEST THAT HE GO INTO A NURSING HOME. AS IT HAS BEEN VERY HARD FOR HIM TO BATH WITHOUT MY ASSISTANCE TO TAKE HIS HAND AND HELP HIM OUT AND MAKE SURE HE DOESN'T FALL ETC. I WILL DEARLY MISS HIM HERE WITH ME DURING THE DAY!! I MISS HIM ALREADY AND HE HAS ONLY BEEN GONE NOT EVEN A WEEK!! I REALLY ENJOYED HIS COMPANY AND HE ENJOYED MINE TOO. BUT I DO WANT WHAT IS BEST FOR HIM. MAYBE THAT IS WHY I HAS BEEN DEPRESSED LATELY ALSO, I MISS HIM. I HAVE BEEN TRYING TO GET TO THE HOSPITAL MOST DAYS AND VISIT WITH HIM, BUT I DO NOT FEEL WELL AT ALL!! I DO TRY AND SEND HUGS AND LITTLE MESSAGES TO ALL OF MY DEAREST FRIENDS HERE ON DS, BUT IT IS VERY HARD FOR ME, BUT I WANT YOU ALL TO KNOW THAT I AM THINKING AND PRAYING FOR YOU ALL!! I REALLY ENJOY READING AND COMMENTING ON YOUR JOURNALS AND I LOVE TO GET THOSE HUGS AND PRAYERS AND SPECIAL WORDS FROM MOST OF MY FRIENDS!! YOU DON'T KNOW HOW MUCH THEY MEAN TO ME, I THANK YOU ALL FOR THE CONTINUED FRIENDSHIP AND THOUGHTFUL WORDS TO ME!! WELL, I JUST WANTED TO LET YOU ALL KNOW THAT I AM AROUND AND DO GET TO MY COMPUTER MOST DAYS BUT NOW THERE ARE DAYS THAT I DON'T EVEN TURN IT ON ANYMORE. BUT, I AM THINKING OF YOU ALL AND PRAYING FOR YOU AS I SAID. SO, PLEASE KEEP SENDING ME MY HUGS AND KIND WORDS AND WRITING IN YOUR JOURNALS SO I KNOW HOW EVERYONE IS DOING. I WILL SIGN OFF FOR NOW AND WAIT TO HEAR SOME OF YOUR NEWS!! PRAYERS AND KIND THOUGHTS TO ALL OF YOU!! LOVE AS ALWAYS SUE (CUTESY) XXXX0000