1/9/07, It is 2:23 a.m. meaning …
1/9/07, It is 2:23 a.m. meaning it is another sleepless night. I still have trouble believing that I developed …
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cutesy 
8:02pm, March 18, 2009
WELL, AS IN MY PREVIOUS JOURNAL I AM IN THE SAME SITUATION WITH MY DAUGHTER AND HER CHILDREN, OUR GRANDCHILDREN...... BUT NOW FOR THE PAST MONTH I HAVEN'T FELT ANGRY AT ALL! I ONLY FEEL SADNESS FOR MY DAUGHTER, CRYSTAL THAT HAS OUR PRECIOUS GRANDCHILDREN! I HAVE BEEN THINKING THAT SHE MUST NOT BE VERY HAPPY AT ALL, IN HER LIFE. HOW COULD SHE BE?? SHE IS THE ONE THAT HAD DECIDED NOT TO TALK TO US?? AND TO ONLY TALK TO CERTAIN FAMILY MEMBERS. I BELIEVE NOW THAT SHE IS THE ONE THAT NEEDS ALL THE PRAYERS THAT I CAN SAY EACH AND EVERY DAY FOR HER TO PLEASE COME TO REALITY AS TO WHAT SHE IS LIVING WITH. ALL THE HURT THAT SHE MUST FEEL! AND ALL THE SADNESS! AND MISTRUST IN EVERYONE! SHE IS SOOO LONELY I ONLY WANT TO HUG HER AND SAY THAT EVERY THING WILL BE ALRIGHT! I DO UNDERSTAND THAT MY GRANDKIDS ARE HURTING SOOO VERY MUCH ALSO, AND TO SEE THERE MOTHER GO THROUGH A TERRIBEL TIME IN HER LIFE WITH SOOOO MUCH LONELINESS AND UNHAPPINESS MUST BE TERRIBLE FOR ALL OF THEM! SO, INSTEAD OF THINKING OF MY OWN FEELINGS WHICH I WILL ADMIT DOES STILL CRUSH MY HEART NOT TO BE ABLE TO SEE OR HUG ANY OF THEM WELL I HAVE TURNED TO PRAYER FOR ALL OF THEM! I PRAY THAT GOD WILL FIND HER THE WAY TO HEAL INSIDE ALL OF HER PAIN, AND MAKE HER A MUCH HAPPIER PERSON, THAT I KNOW SHE CAN BE!! SO, WITH HER HAPPIER AND MORE CONTENT WITH OR WITHOUT US IN HER LIFE, AT LEAST SHE CAN BE MUCH MORE AT PEACE WITHIN HERSELF AND HER CHILDRENS LIVES ALSO! THIS IS ALL THAT I ASK OF GOD TO HOLD HIS LOVING HANDS AROUND HER AND GUIDE HER IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION FOR HER TO FEEL LOVED AGAIN AND SO SHE CAN LOVE AGAIN, IN A HEALTHY WAY!! GOD BLESS YOU DEAR CRYSTAL I LOVE YOU SOOOO VERY MUCH MY DEAR DAUGHTER AND I MISS YOU TERRIBLY!! LOVE MOM XXXOOO
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