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nanaofbailee 
10:45am Yesterday
For those of my friends who still read this journal, I need to get this off my chest by way of explanation of my absence.
Last week I got my denial letter from the VA and in a very heavy, quickly felt bout of severe depression I attempted suicide and was hospitalized. I am alive and home, though not able to venture out or onto the computer much and I certainly CANNOT face my friends-----I am embarassed beyond measure. I am following my doctors orders and am in daily therapy and also have begun physical therapy.
I guess that is all I can say---------thanks for all of the caring, my daughter reminded me of all those who love me as we flew to the ER.
Cheryl
Comments
Nana, I'm so glad you are safe and with us. You have nothing to be ashamed of or embarrassed about. Life can impose just too much and we aren't able in that moment of lost clarity to see a tomorrow. Please, Please be gentle with yourself
Love, Nectar. xox.
nectar
oh Cheryl I am so sorry,, I am sending you a message on ds,, please read,,, I love you my friend,,,,
Jackie19467
Dumbass,,If you try shit like that again,,I'll come kill you myself,,And have Gunny sing at the Funneral,,Love ya Bunch's no matter what,,Allways your friend,,,Frank
Lightnin333
Oh Nana, Your not ready to go home yet. Forget feeling embarrassed, most of us live with that daily. You have acess to some of the most compassionate and understanding people. Call, post anything but that. I am so glad you are ok and going to daily therapy. Feel better.
Love & Light xo
whtelght326
Cheryl, I am so sorry that you felt so bad. I wish I had been there for you. Please know that you are important to all of us. There are always tomorrows and they are bright ones. Be careful with yourself. You are our angel. Many many hugs, love and kisses.
Mikasa
So glad you are safe and back at home...and embarrassed?? WTH we have all been there and done that, at least most of us have so never ever be embarrassed. Get a lawyer and go for it again do not stop trying. And beware Lightnin333 sounds serious.lol Know that we love you alot and are here for you whatever you need to say, vent, spew just do it!
nutz
Cheryl:
Don't be ashamed or feel so bad. I too tried suicide in 1990 & I think the failure actually put me in a worse depression than I was already in. How could I be SO STUPID that I couldn't even accomplish killing myself????? This gave me my free trip to 9 days in hospital for the most part in the lock down section...DUMB, DUMB, DUMB. I can only relay that I too was SOOO ashamed that I had failed there that it did help me change my attitude about suicide. Now I figure no one can afford to pay for a funeral, so why do more damage than I have already done? I've had one trip since then...my husband & old pdoc decided I was suicidal...dumb shits....I was pissed! But, could I convince them of that? NO. So off to the rubber room at a local hospital. When the intake guy FINALLY came in I was in a ROYAL piss off because no one would listen but finally got thru to him that I was pissed at the world & knew no one had the money to bury me!
Don't worry though things will right themselves &, while it will take time, know you have something left to be done here. Use this site to vent & let it all out, I know it has helped me greatly.....it's when you clam up that shit happens.
As you can tell from the other responses, we LOVE you here at OT & don't want anyting to happen to you. Please take care & know this.
HUGS & LOVE,
Charli
ckn
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Bryano