stargazer673's Journal

Earlier today I sent out the last payment that I owe Butler.  As soon as they clear my account I'm free to start college again.  Still don't see a point in going because I just dont' know what I want to do....well I take that back...I know what I want to do but I can't do it.  I want to be a Vet and work with animals...but I just can't graps the formulas in chemistry.  I know if I had a good teacher who slowed down and explained things it would be easier but I haven't met a teacher like that yet....not for chemistry anyway.

I scheduled an apointment with Planned Parenthood to get a pap done.  Hicham told me he'd go with me.  I'm really starting to get nervous about it and the apointment is like 2 weeks away.

I'm feeling pretty down right now.  I don't know why...I just feel down.  Hicham and Larbi are gone and I'm not really comfortable being alone.....but I'll be fine. 

Hicham made me feel smarter then him this morning.  He needed proof that he'd paid the car dealership for the months of December and January...but he couldn't find the check book that he had used to make those payments.  He wanted me to go to the bank and get them to print out December and January bank statements.  I was just playing around with some stuff on their website and found the bank statement he couldn't find.  And we were able to order more checks online.  I didn't have to take an unwanted trip to the bank.  Banks make me feel nervous.  I feel like they are watching me and only me because I'm some kinda criminal.  I get that feeling when I'm buy groceries or just walking around a store like Walmart.  I feel like they are watching me when I take off my jacket and put it in the buggy...I hate that.  I feel like they are watching me when they should be watching for actual theives.

I'm thinking about buying  myself a new wedding ring.  I like the one Hicham got for me but it's not comfortable to wear because it gets caught in eveyrthing because the diamond part is raise up real high.  I saw some really pretty rings at Walmart...I know not he best place for jewelry but they are cheap.  So maybe I'll be getting one soon.

Speaking of rings.  My mother promised me a class ring if I graduated high school.  Well I graduated in 2000 and it's been almost 8 years now and she still hasn't gotten the class ring for me.  I remind her often but she always says that she doesnt' have the money because they are planning another cruise and they need the money for the trip.  My parents go on cruises 2 to 3 times a year...where they find the money and time off from work (dad) I don't know.

And on top of all the cruises they are planning on going to seattle (WA) sometime this month....dad is getting paid to make the trip.  He is rebuilding an airplane and will be flying it back home to Kansas....but mom's going up there to spend money.  And on top of that this weekend they are going to Kansas City for a Gem show.  Mom wants to buy new stones for her jewelry.  She makes her own jewelry.  I don't know if she has sold any yet but she gives them out as gifts each year.  I have about 4 or 5 necklaces from her.

I forgot to mention that I took a nap with Hicham earlier today and woke up thinking Hicham had missed going to work.  He told me it was still the 7th.  I woke myself up and couldn't go back to sleep...and I'm probably not going to sleep well tonight...as I took a long nap. 

Well I hope everyone had a nice day.  I hope tomorrow is a bit warmer then it was today.

Take care. Tonya