Stuckinatree's Journal

hi,

what do you suppose makes us feel so lost sometimes?

I feel like the strongest person on the earth one minute, and then I feel like this little girl who just wants to share all my love.

then of course there is this other woman in me that gets so friggin mad I could pound the shit out of someone evil!

seriously, I imagine myself just pounding the crap out of them.  sometimes I feel like if I made them bleed, and hurt..maybe just maybe...some of the pain I see and feel will go away.

but lets face it ===it won't.  so I will in fact think of something else....

like all the beautiful flowers you send me, and the beautiful flowers you post on your page.

I will think of all the love, kindness, and sharing I have found here.

I have been blessed in this life.  I've been a brat, a pain in the ass, head strong, opinionated,

I've lived my life the way I wanted....my choices.  some good and some pathetically bad.

but I can laugh at it, I can see in beauty in the world and most of all I can enjoy the love I have gotten in this world.

 I honestly don't even know what the hell I'm thinking right now.....but thanks for letting me just blurt out a bunch of junk!!!

hope every one of you have a nice sunday!

I decided I'm running away!!  haven't done that in a LONG time.  talked to my counselor about it, and was told..it was a great idea.  asked me why I wanted to run away...my answer...to collect myself, and find Nancy.  I feel like I forgot me.  I forgot what I need to keep me healthy.

thats the beauty of mother nature...the smell of my ocean....the breeze that blows my hair,

the feel of the warmth from the sun, the peace I find walking along the waters edge singing

"amazing grace"...

So, I came home and asked Kristina (my daughter) to please pick a week that she would rather take care of daddy...so I can go in peace without worrying.

she said probably when the kids have no school. their spring break is coming in a couple of weeks.  so I guess I'll plan on that.

Now you all know where I'm heading....Jalama Beach...

isn't funny, one of the hardest couple of years of my life....the biggest hurdle to fight...and I found peace, and felt so blessed to be on jalama beach.  I found beauty in everyday.

I found all kinds of good right there.  it was like stepping onto the sand was one world, and stepping off was back into another.  very weird actually.  off the sand I was this strong person fighting for my husbands life.  fighting an army, and lawyers, and workers comp. and hospitals and drs.....

in the sand, all I thought about was how beautiful the world is.  How beautiful and peaceful and happy I was.  hows that for being WEIRD!!  but its true.

any of you feel like that with the outdoors?  what's your favorite place to be?  where do you all find the peace when you need it?

c'mon, share the goods....inquiring minds want to know!  that would be ME. lol

have a great day you guys, uh,,,,thought it was 2:30....oh NO, it's turn the clock night and it's really 3:30.  crap!!!  just lost another hour of snoozing. lol

goodnite,

love and hugs

nancy

uhhhhhh, let me share my dog with you!!!  the little crap went in my purse...yes stuck her whole head into my purse grabbed a ten dollar bill, ran in a corner and chewed it apart.

without us even seeing her do it. 

she's a SNEAK!!!