confusedandhopeless's Journal

I havent written in here in quite a while! Been really busy dealing with my stress of leaving my partner, and well, its overwhelming but im currently packing and almost done. I should be gone by september, so that at least means i accept i tried my best.  She needs help, im seriously thinking she has emotional problems or is just a good player im not sure, but really i think she just needs help. Nothing really changed, and what hope i had, well................ is close to gone. Ive lost my friend of 9 yrs, and someone i fell in love with an my heart is broken but........... just add that to the pile i guess. This one for some reason is much harder, i guess becasuse we were friends first, and well she turned out to be someone i just didnt no, and im sad, down to the very core of me.

Anyways, things change as she says, and well she sure did, from being a wonderful woman into something scary, and tramatizing for me. Not a good change in my book, but whatever works for you. 

Ive changed myself i ve become even stronger, and so much wiser to people, i dont have as much faith in them as i once did, and everyone from now on is going to have to work a bit harder for me to let them in, and thats unfortunate, for them and myself. Im trying to be positve about my move, i have a lot on my plate, but God is always with me, and i have faith he will provide for me, and at least He never lets me down.

Life is mysterious, confusing, happy, sad, so many things, and we just got to go for the ride. Im a lot better a person, for all this i no that though, just because others have problems, just make me want to work even harder on myself, to be the kind caring loving person ive always been. and my priorities of taking care of ME is my number one thing from now on.