OJewel's Journal

I am so depressed on sun eve. ever since I was a kid.Mainly at my father's house. They ignored me a lot so now I sometimes get sad and lonely. I called mom and she said "I apologize for my part in that".Wow!! That meant so much to me. I mean such a weight lifted. It gave me warm fuzzies!  My friend Donna and I fell asleep early.She fell asleep on the couch at 8:45pm and I fell asleep by 9:00pm. That Indian food completely wiped us out. She made French toast this morn and showed me how to make it. It was soooo good. Then I went to McD's for junk food and to hang out with a friend and then we came back and watched an anatomy lecture on youtube from Berkely. He is really into that and then this eve. I just started to feel so sad and depressed and lonely.Luckily, I forced myself to watch tv and call some people and invited a friend over tomorrow. I also am in the process of eliminating zyprexa bec. 1. my doc said I don't have symptoms that need the drug and 2. I have gained too much weight and she wants me drop the drug.So, tomorrow morning I am suppose to go swimming so that is good.My quads are killing me so painful.Icepaks work advil does not.The reason I am on the computer now is that I have a commitment to tell my weightloss buddy what I eat during the day and I don't want to get lazy or lethargic about that. I think it really helps to have buddies to get things accomplished especially if you are single in your life and aren't reporting to someone.Ididn't go out for the fireworks. I could hear them, though. Goodnight everyone, Jewel