Ellocin's Journal

I love this that I got in an email...I'll write an entry below it. 

"I'm A Little Tea Cup...."

Love  this story or not, you might not be able to have
tea in a tea cup again without  thinking of this.

There was a couple who took a trip to England to shop in
a beautiful antique store to celebrate their 25th wedding
anniversary.  They both liked  antiques and pottery, and
especially teacups.  Spotting an exceptional cup,  they
asked, "May we see that?  We've never seen a cup quite
so beautiful."

As  the lady handed it to them, suddenly the teacup spoke,
"You don't understand. I  have not always been a teacup.
There was a time when I was just a lump of red  clay. My
master took me and rolled me pounded and patted me
over and over and I  yelled out, "Don't do that."

"I don't like it! Let me alone," but he only smiled, and gently
said, "Not  yet!"

Then  WHAM! I was placed on a spinning wheel and suddenly 
I was made to suit  himself and then he put me in the oven. I
never felt such heat. I yelled and  knocked and pounded at the
door. "Help! Get me out of here!" I could see him  through the
opening and I could read his lips as he shook his head from
side to side, 'Not yet'.

When I thought  I couldn't bear it another minute, the door
opened. He carefully took me out and  put me on he shelf,
and I began to cool. Oh, that felt so good! "Ah, this is  much
better," I thought. But, after I cooled he picked me up and he
brushed and  painted me all over. The fumes were horrible. I
thought I would gag. 'Oh, please, Stop it, Stop, I cried. He
only shook his head and said. 'Not  yet!'.

Then  suddenly he puts me back in to the oven. Only it was
not like the first one.  This was twice as hot and I just knew
I would suffocate. I begged.. I pleaded. I  screamed. I cried
I was convinced I would never make it. I was ready to give
up.  Just then the door opened and he took me out and again
placed me on the shelf, where I cooled and waited and waited,
wondering "What's he going to do to me  next?"

An hour later he handed me a mirror and said 'Look at yourself.'
And I did. I  said, That's not me; that couldn't be me. It's
beautiful. I'm  beautiful!!!

Quietly he spoke: "I want you to remember, then,' he said, 'I
know it hurt to be rolled and pounded and patted, but had I
just left you alone, you'd have dried up. I  know it made you
dizzy to spin around on the wheel, but if I had stopped, you 
would have crumbled. I know it hurt and it was hot and
disagreeable in the oven,  but if I hadn't put you there, you
would have cracked. I know the fumes were bad  when I
brushed and painted you all over, but if I hadn't done that,
you never would have hardened.. You would not have had
any color in your life. If I hadn't  put you back in that second
oven, you wouldn't have survived for long because  the
hardness would not have held. Now you are a finished product.
Now you are what I had in mind when I first began with you."

The moral of this story is this: God knows what He's doing for
each of us. He is the potter, and we are His clay. He will mold
us and make us and expose us to  just enough pressures of
just the right kinds that we may be made into a flawless piece
of work to fulfill His good, pleasing and perfect will.

So when life seems hard, and you are being pounded and
patted and pushed almost  beyond endurance; when your
world seems to be spinning out of control; when you feel like
you are in a fiery furnace of trials; when life seems to 'stink',
try this:

Brew  a cup of your favorite tea in your prettiest tea cup, sit
down and think on this  story and then, have a little talk with
the Potter…

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I still haven't gotten to volunteer...though I think I'm finally over whatever cold I had and it's just allergy symptoms now.  At least I hope. 

Today was a rainy grey day so I stayed in and had a pajama day.  I don't think that was the best choice in hindsight...I feel depressed tonight because I didn't really do anything except make a phone call and try to catch up on the emails.  I'm so behind in everything.  I even feel a little like cutting but I know it won't solve anything and is only a very temporary relief from the sadness.  In the long run it just makes me feel worse.

The rules here in Nova Scotia changed for the H1N1 shots so as of right now I am not able to get one. 

Tomorrow I have to go for bloodwork though and possibly get my regular flu shot.  I'd like to try to get in to volunteer too.  I think it would be good if I can.

I think I mentioned in my last entry that I'm having issues with sleep and anxiety before going to bed.  It's continuing.  It doesn't help that my bed mattress is absolutely awful and has a huge curve in it were it sinks in...so I wake up with my back so sore.  I'm seriously thinking about sleeping on the floor. 

I know I'm complaining, I'm sorry.  I need to be thankful I have the things I do and access to healthcare and all that...and I am.  I'm just having a bit of a rough time tonight.