crj's Journal

Hello my friends, I have missed u all sooo very much. I pray that u all had a very great Resurrection Sunday on yesterday. It was bright and sunny; but, chilly here in Philly.  It has been such a long 4months with this exacerbation. Between the bad migraines and the severe attack of the MS(the worst one I have had in 15yrs), it has truly been a trial of my faith. The devil attacked me every way that he could. He started with the severe pain in my body, none like I have ever had, very severe muscle spasms and cramping in my legs and thighs and the back and sides of my neck. Then he started messing w/my marriage. He had my husband acting like a pure "retard". So of course that brought on stress, high levels. My husband did not and could not see the stress and what it was doing to me. I was not walking, not even standing w/o pain. I had not been able to even go to church. Now u know that i was sick, i never stay home from church. I was going thru bouts of depression. I was just crying and crying and crying and crying some more. I was hurting and hurting and hurting and still hurting even now. My Neuro increased the zoloff from 100mg to 150mg a day. He also changed the migraine meds from fironal to frova along with treximet. I take the treximet when the headache is severe and frova when not real severe. For ms pain, he has changed me on 99 new things since i last talked to u guys. At least he is trying. It is just so very frustrating waiting while he is trying to find what will work. I told him that the severe muscle spasms/cramping did not start until i started the tysabri therapy. This is the new one for ms patients w/remitting-relasping ms. He decided not to take me off just yet.  In addition to all that, I was rushed to the hospital by ambulance feeling like  I was having a heart attack(chest pain, arms heavy) after having six days of iv steroids. While I was in there having all types of test to see if it was actually a heart attack or stress attack, i'm laying up in my bed w/the oxygen mask on and my blood pressure dropped to 80. I told my husband that I could not hear them and that my head was swimming. He told the nurse and this is when they took my pressure and found out that it had dropped. The nurse began to run around. She put some new meds in my iv, a bag of something or other. Well, when all was said and done. I was admitted. They kept me overnight to monitor the heart and the blood pressure. I came home with the pain even worst then it was when I left. They said the pain was acid reflux. I still have to see a heart specialist. I had to hollor and shout at satan. I told him that I was sick of him. I talked to him just as i am talking to u guys. Then I opened my door and told him to get out and then I shut my door.  Guess what, the house atmosphere was different. I'm not kidding. See, u have to let the devil know that u are sick and tired of playing his games and that u are not going to play with him anymore and take charge.   Although right now he thinks he is in control, he is a liar and the truth is not in him. The Bible said he was a liar from the beginning, because he is the father of lies. We have to constantly remind him that "greater is He(Holy Spirit)that lives in me than he(Satan/Anti-christ) that lives in the world. The Greater One lives in me and He reigns and rules. So when tough times comes I have to be like the Apostle Paul who said, "I've learned to encourage myself in the Lord". This is what we have to do when no one is around to help, to talk to us. We have to talk to Jesus and trust me He listens. So now, I am going back up into my castle. I am sooo glad that I love my bedroom because I have had to spend sooo much time in it lately. Last year, my husband bought me a 32" color Tv w/hd  for mybirthday.   I am also sooo appreciative of God for even small things because He has me so that I don'teasily become bored over anything.    

 I love u all of my dear friends. I pray that everyone is doing good and God is blessing and at least keeping our minds stayed on Him. I love u all w/the love of God and I hope to talk to u real soon and get back to checking in every day!! God's Blessings to u All!!   

Your friend, Chris