Journal

Hello my friends, I have missed u all sooo very much. I pray that u all had a very great Resurrection Sunday on yesterday. It was bright and sunny; but, chilly here in Philly.  It has been such a long 4months with this exacerbation. Between the bad migraines and the severe attack of the MS(the worst one I have had in 15yrs), it has truly been a trial of my faith. The devil attacked me every way that he could. He started with the severe pain in my body, none like I have ever had, very severe muscle spasms and cramping in my legs and thighs and the back and sides of my neck. Then he started messing w/my marriage. He had my husband acting like a pure "retard". So of course that brought on stress, high levels. My husband did not and could not see the stress and what it was doing to me. I was not walking, not even standing w/o pain. I had not been able to even go to church. Now u know that i was sick, i never stay home from church. I was going thru bouts of depression. I was just crying and crying and crying and crying some more. I was hurting and hurting and hurting and still hurting even now. My Neuro increased the zoloff from 100mg to 150mg a day. He also changed the migraine meds from fironal to frova along with treximet. I take the treximet when the headache is severe and frova when not real severe. For ms pain, he has changed me on 99 new things since i last talked to u guys. At least he is trying. It is just so very frustrating waiting while he is trying to find what will work. I told him that the severe muscle spasms/cramping did not start until i started the tysabri therapy. This is the new one for ms patients w/remitting-relasping ms. He decided not to take me off just yet.  In addition to all that, I was rushed to the hospital by ambulance feeling like  I was having a heart attack(chest pain, arms heavy) after having six days of iv steroids. While I was in there having all types of test to see if it was actually a heart attack or stress attack, i'm laying up in my bed w/the oxygen mask on and my blood pressure dropped to 80. I told my husband that I could not hear them and that my head was swimming. He told the nurse and this is when they took my pressure and found out that it had dropped. The nurse began to run around. She put some new meds in my iv, a bag of something or other. Well, when all was said and done. I was admitted. They kept me overnight to monitor the heart and the blood pressure. I came home with the pain even worst then it was when I left. They said the pain was acid reflux. I still have to see a heart specialist. I had to hollor and shout at satan. I told him that I was sick of him. I talked to him just as i am talking to u guys. Then I opened my door and told him to get out and then I shut my door.  Guess what, the house atmosphere was different. I'm not kidding. See, u have to let the devil know that u are sick and tired of playing his games and that u are not going to play with him anymore and take charge.   Although right now he thinks he is in control, he is a liar and the truth is not in him. The Bible said he was a liar from the beginning, because he is the father of lies. We have to constantly remind him that "greater is He(Holy Spirit)that lives in me than he(Satan/Anti-christ) that lives in the world. The Greater One lives in me and He reigns and rules. So when tough times comes I have to be like the Apostle Paul who said, "I've learned to encourage myself in the Lord". This is what we have to do when no one is around to help, to talk to us. We have to talk to Jesus and trust me He listens. So now, I am going back up into my castle. I am sooo glad that I love my bedroom because I have had to spend sooo much time in it lately. Last year, my husband bought me a 32" color Tv w/hd  for mybirthday.   I am also sooo appreciative of God for even small things because He has me so that I don'teasily become bored over anything.    

 I love u all of my dear friends. I pray that everyone is doing good and God is blessing and at least keeping our minds stayed on Him. I love u all w/the love of God and I hope to talk to u real soon and get back to checking in every day!! God's Blessings to u All!!   

Your friend, Chris                                                                                                                                                                                                                     

HELLO TO ALL MY FRIENDS,

I pray that all is well and that everyone had a wonderful Christmas. I am still not doing too well. The headaches are still hanging around. The muscle spasms have been worse then ever. When I walk my muscles in my legs, neck, hips and back begin to knot up. I can hardly walk w/o pain. My Neuro's office called me a week or so ago and told me that I missed my Nov. infusion(Tysabri). I said that I didn't know that I had an appointment for Nov. because he is changing office locations; but, that she did give me an appt for 12/22. Well, I went on Mon to the new location and could not find it. It was bad enough that I didn't even feel like going to the dr's(too sick to get to the dr's), I was aggravated on top of this because I could not find the new building. Here I am barely walking on the cane trying to find this place, going around in circles. Well, what do u think I did? U are right, I went back home!! I came in and got back in the bed and took some drugs for the pain!! I called his office to tell them I could not find the place when I was out there; however, I got the ans machine. I love my Dr.; but, I hate the fact that I'm not able to call and get to him right away. U have to leave a message and they will get back to u in a couple of days. But, it is just the inconvenience of waiting to hear from them. Well, I did get an appointment for Dec. 30. Please pray for me, those who know the worth of prayer. I pray that everyone will have a great New Year and the coming one will be a better and healthier one for all of us! I thank the Lord for all my great friends He has given me here. I love u all very much and am grateful to God that u are in my life. It would not be the same w/o u. I pray God's blessings upon each and everyone of u! 

 Chris

Much love to u all!  

Hello everyone, I have miss u all!! I pray that u all are doing well.

I know that I have not written a journal since Oct. I have been very sick the past few months. The MS has "really" got me down. I have not even been to  church. This means that I am very sick when I miss Church. I hate missing Church!!  The ms has added another symptom. I am now having severe nerve spasms. It is horrible. It has been hard to walk or move. The meds have not helped. The Dr. added  a new pain med., Tizanidine/Zanaflex. It does help some along w/Tremadol and all the other mess he has me on.hahahaha. Then there are the times that nothing helps at all. I am also still having trouble/w the Migraines; so, between the spasms and the headaches, I am fighting a "real" battle. If it has not been for the Lord who has not only been on my side, but everywhere I need Him to be. Quite a few times I have been quite emotional about being sick and not getting a break. U know that I really had to turn my face up to Heaven and get some uplift from the Lord and as always He was right here to life me up! I miss talking to all of u, my special friends. Even as an ordained Minister, we also get discouraged from time to time. The devil does not want us to carry or deliver the Word; therefore, he tries to stop us at any cost. But I remember that the Word lets me know that "greater is He that is in me, than he that is in the world". When I remember that, I have to allow the greater One to take over. (smile).

I hope and pray that u all are doing well and even better than that. I hope and pray that everyone has a nice "turkey day", me, I was in the bed; but, my families saw to it that I had plenty of turkey, stuffing, macaroni/cheese, greens, cranberry sauce, stringbeans, sweetpotatoes/pie, cake, cornbread. Did I miss anything! hahahahaha!

I am still eating. I hope that your food was just as good and that u enjoyed your families. I try to get down here to the computer as much as possible; although, that has not been very much. Although I have the stairglide, most days I still do not feel like coming downstairs. I thank God that my husband has a microwave, toaster and refrigerator in my room. I love my bed room. It was 2bedrooms made into one master bedroom. He also bought me a 32" tv for our anniversary last yr.(2007). So, see why I love my bedroom sooo much.

Well, I am about to get back to bed. I hope to talk w/u all real soon. Please lift my name up to the Lord in prayer. I know that according to His Word, He is able to do exceeding, abundantly more than we can ask or think so if we touch and agree (two or more touching and agreeing, I am in the midst) He will move in a miraculous way not only for me, but, for u also. For u are in my prayers as well.

I love u all. U have been such a blessing to my life and I thank God for all of u!

Much love and God's blessings upon u!

Love, Chris