Journal

To my beautiful Graham,

6 years ago I met you, first in mommys tummy, then I got to meet you before you flew to heaven. You werent old enough to hold, but I met your spirit on November 13th, 2003. The soul I met that day has given me some of the most heartfelt and knowledgeful moments of my life. Happy Birthday my sweet Graham. I know you are in Heaven and you dont want me to cry over you, but mom still gets sad on your birthday, only because you were born in the hands of Jesus. I didnt get to hug you or tell you how much I loved you. I loved you the moment I heard the doctor tell us we were pregnant again. In that moment I loved you. You, my angel, will always be a part of my everyday life. You are the sun on the sunshiney days, the wind that cools the summer heat. You are the first snowflake to hit the ground, the first morning dew. You are here with me each and everyday, I know it, I can feel you. I have succumb to the fact that God gave us this Heavenly Angel, not to torture us, but to have us learn lessons that can not be otherwise learned. I find myself wondering this year as I sit and watch your older brother sleeping, what would you look like? Michael has become such a little spunk. I can see you too making plans on scaring Carter and Lucas, I can almost see your smile as you plan the attack! At which point I would be screaming, Michael and Graham....knock it off. Its those little things I miss the most. Now that you would be getting older and turning into your own little man, makes me want to see what you would be like even more. I want to pull out your first tooth, put bandades on your owies, kiss you goodnight after a bedtime story. I was not given the chance to watch you grow on Earth, but I was given the chance to watch you grow in all of our hearts. Mine, dads, Michaels, Carters, and even Lucas' They know who you are and your spirit fills them, I know you watch over them. You are a great big brother to Carter and Lucas and a great little brother to Michael. Last year I promised myself that I would let you go and be free, free to play in Jesus' playground, to not have to worry about us here on Earth. I dont want to keep you from doing what Jesus needed you for because I cant get over it. Please know Graham, that you are and will forever be my little baby. Our little "bulldog" as daddy called you. I just miss you. You have given us so much in these past years. Understanding, compassion, a stronger bond as a family. WE are so lucky to have you as a part of our family, and you will always be a part of my heart, as well as your fathers. I will never forget the sadness of this day 6 years ago when we learned we were loosing you, but I will forever remember the love you have given us.

We love you Graham, happy birthday baby!

You can go back to chasin Lily around! :)

Happy Birthday Sweetie!

Love you forever and ever, that will never stop!

Mommy

Veterans Day poem

In Honor of Veterans' Day, Thursday, November 11th...

Mommy, What is a Veteran?
by Linda Ellis copyright 1998

"Mommy, what is a veteran?" my child asked in an innocent way "and could you please explain to me why we have a Veterans' Day?"

My mind searched for the adjectives that might help me clarify those people, who for their country have looked death in the eye.

I quickly grabbed the dictionary to see what Webster may have used but "one who served in the armed forces" were not the words that I would choose.

But, how do you describe a veteran -- soldiers you have never met, those you'll never know the names of and yet...never will forget?

How do you describe a veteran? How do you convey a definition for those who brought this country's dreams to their ultimate fruition?

How do you describe a veteran -- strangers who fought for you, men and women who risked their lives for people they never knew?

How do you describe a veteran -- and the sacrifices they made so that you and your children's children could live free...and unafraid?

How do you describe a veteran -- for a child's sake? You say "a veteran is a person to whom we owe every breath we take."