Sarahsma's Journal

Im sorry for my long vacation. I just was living in the real world for a while but I miss nurturing my freinds and confiding in my diary. I was reminded tonight of the dark behavior my sister did during my parent's life. We are so alike, yet miles apart in differences. I don't know how to handle this. Matt's family has alienated us, likely bc of our Christian beliefs, not Catholics like they are and it has become quite a thorn to them. And now the horrible reminder of how my sister and nieces stole from my mother to support their own greed and destructive gambling and shopping habits. Im disgusted and angry. I know it may be a few months before my brother can do a full audit and Im unsure how to deal with the family in the meantime. My sister, my niece lives across the street. We have relationships with them, I love them but I cannot trust them, its an awful place for my heart to be. I can forgive them, but they dont admit guilt. We are living in the family home rent free and she is starting to bug me about when Matt can find a job, its been less than 60 days, he is working hard to find an engineer job, it will take time....and she stole possibly in the hundreds of thousands, we know its a lot. I am sick about it. I thought it might have been true but they lied a good lie and now I was beginning to believe their lies. Oh how lonely our lives will be without a family other than our little close knit one. No uncles or aunts to have holidays with, my brother is still alive but he needs a heart, poor Jim, and a few cousins, but the rest here in Cali are not to be trusted....I feel so alone in my heart without the trust I hope we can work this all out, but then again I will never be able to look her in the eyes again with trust. She has stolen from my father and mother and ultimately me and my children.

How on earth does she sleep?