Journal

38 days and no period but then again, I have a migraine....I told the pschiatrist about what STARFLOWER told me with teens and prozac ( AND the doctor said it takes 4 weeks before we really know....) he didnt seem to get that Kevin is losing sleep...this is crap-care in my opinion when you are stuck with HMO....we have 4 days to decide for next tyear and probably will go with a PPO....Matt is having chronic pain in his back almost disabling...he can work and that is it...he is 36! Poor guy...today he made dinner, but it took everthing he had...

I am doing a rare hiding in my bedroom thing because my jaw is really tight, ear pain/ringing and migraine, and sound is making it feel worse! Gratitude journal is for Oprah followers so I dont think its for me...I WAS her biggest fan, still like Dr Phil, but not as much. He is someone who never really sufered so cannot relate to those of us who know how hard it is just to look forward, reminders strike us and we can push them out but they still exist. If money were no object I would not live in my mom's house but it is so OH WELL...I look forward to good health and I am tired of wasting my time at the chiropractor. I want to join a gym, and try just strengthening myself. Ive been watching biggest loser and have been on my feet and trying to raise my heart rate at least 30 minutes every other day and watching what I eat but I am not shedding weight and my calorie intake is about 1500 calories a day, Ive done everything I have done in the past but its not working...I learned that stress will PREVENT weight loss, I have tried to work on being more spiritual, praying, massages, reading and taking better care of me then my HOUSE...try that sometime ladies....with all the family loss this year it is affecting my moods to some degree, I CANT HELP IT!!!!! BUt I want to have a lovely thanksgiving and Christimas....I am sale shopping ebay, etc trying to stretch my budget....there are only going to be a handful of presents under this tree because they want stuff that is beyond the budget...OH WELL too bad, 4 kids sacrafic...in this economy they need to learn young..simple life is best! 

This week has been doc appt after another...enough already! I need to get my shoulder looked at bc something feels wrong....in the socket...I want to be healthy so bad but I can't just make it happen...but  getting stronger might work....looking at a used jacuzzi to minimize massages...

My head feels a little better just letting some things go....I documented some stuff from my parents bank statements for my brother to calculate to give my sistersr's