Sakura's Journal

headache and back pain. Spent most of the day asleep. Even in my dreams my back hurt. There is no escape. My shoulders hurt too, I don't know why. I'm scared. I don't know if I can do school. I have to either ask to have a lighter load count full time, or apply for disability. I don't want to apply for disability, but I don't know that I have a choice. I honestly don't know if I can do school. Not with my body going through so much crap and not being able to concentrate and my memory being bad. At one point during my day long nap today my mom woke me up to ask if I had ODed on my meds. It was a legit question for her to ask. I hadn't. But that doesn't mean there's not part of me that wants to. I'm getting so deperate for pain relief. I feel like a broken record "my back hurts. my back hurts. my back hurts.". But it's just too much. Monday I call the neurologist for an appointment- still searching for the reason for the pain.