Sakura's Journal

I don't know what to do. I feel desperate. I just want to tear chunks out of my arms. Today the topic in one of my classes was "prostitution, pornography and the sex industry". So of course we also talked about rape, child prostitution, human trafficking and child exploitation. My teacher was way insensitive and ignorant he was all "why is it a problem" and i told him and he was like "well being exposed to it will be good for you" or something like that. Not cool. and now it's wigging me out. I already took a shower. normally I would load up on meds and try to sleep. but I've been in bad health for three weeks now. One of the problems is I found out I have this thing called 'fatty liver' where your body deposits fat into the liver instead of fat cells. it can lead to i think it was cirrosis which leads to liver failure. and I haven't exactly been good to my body and my liver. so i'm trying extra hard to stay clean. The main part of being sick i still don't know why. I have to call my doctor tomorrow- he had some more tests run when i saw him tuesday. iuerafjkdlsmsjfhaiodks. I don't know what to do. pray for me.