Sakura's Journal

I was just thinking... I don't particularly care to remember any of my sexual excursions with males. my first real boy-friend, the guy i had two one-night-stands with, the babysitter that molested me, my dad. i was thinking about the most recent one (the guy i had the one-night-stands with) and even though it wasn't intercourse-sex and I was a willing participant, I'd rather not think about it. I don't like remembering what it was like. and where i don't particularly care to spend much time thinking about getting physical with my female exs, I'm not.... repulsed by it. i almost wish the others had never happened, I mean, I wish the bad ones hadn't happened. but the ones that weren't bad at the time... i think in some ways it's good, now I don't have to spend time wondering. but other then that I don't have any fond/nostalgic feelings towards the people they happened with or towards the memories of what happened. i don't know.