I am a student. One day I hope to be a published writer. I have many manuscripts, poems, short stories, journals, notes, and essays. I am lesbian. I am going to school to become a vet. tech (i.e. nurse for animals). I constantly listen to music and I hate to eat. I was born and raised in California (lived there the first 18 years of my life), spent a year in NC and now I'm back living in CA.
I am a student. One day I hope to be a published writer. I have many manuscripts, poems, short stories, journals, notes, and essays. I am lesbian. I am going to school to become a vet. tech (i.e. nurse for animals). I constantly listen to music and I hate to eat. I was born and raised in California (lived there the first 18 years of my life), spent a year in NC and now I'm back living in CA.
Hey y'all, if you want to chat and I'm not lurking around here send me an IM over at alana_liones@yahoo.com
Hey y'all, if you want to chat and I'm not lurking around here send me an IM over at alana_liones@yahoo.com
4 journal posts, 2 journal comments, 2 discussion posts, 2 hugs received, 1 group discussion post
Sakura changed their mood to Horrible 11:06pm
Sakura updated their status 11:06pm
No one talks to her, she feels so alone- she's in too much pain to survive...…
Sakura wrote a journal entry: "LIfe is like a sewer- what you get out of it depends on what you put into it" 6:21pm
To me there is no higher calling then helping others. And the best kind of helping others is helping…
Sakura changed their mood to Bad 6:21pm
November 19, 2009 6:21pm
To me there is no higher calling then helping others. And the best kind of helping others is helping those who cannot seek help themselves. For me …
November 19, 2009 5:00pm
I am home sick today. I didn't do the receptionist work and I cancelled my kitties. Hopefully this passes and I feel much better tomorrow cause I …
November 10, 2009 1:13am
So, I'm in the process of applying to a psychiatric service dog. One of the things the application asks for is an autobiography. This is what …
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thanks for your comment and taking the time to read my journal...i hope you stay with ds...i enjoy having you as a friend on here even though we only talk here and there...i do check in on you from time to time and appreciate your ds friendship
I am just trying to be honest with myself. Even though my anger episodes are times i try to suppress due to the pain. I just have to keep tryin to be assertive and not passive - aggressive. I amtrying couseling but it is expensive & need to find an affordable support group, even just to go to & listen.
View all in progress Goals
I've lost family. And non-family. The toll is large. Including my cousin who took her own life last summer.
I was four. He was in his 20's, maybe 30's. It's been years, but my body still remembers every touch. Then there was my dad. Among other things he raped me.
I come from a seemingly normal family. But truthfully it's rather.... dysfunctional.
I have PTSD because of sexual abuse when I was a small child.
I've been dealing with depression since... well I don't even remember how long. The first time I was suicidal I was in seventh grade. A baby really. If I knew then what I know now... Somethings change and somethings don't. Also in the last two years or so I've tried something like 12 different meds. Some for depression, some for anxiety, some for "psychotic features".
My father used to rape me. For six years he did this to me. But no one in my family believes me. They believe him when he says he didn't do it.
I'm lesbian. Had a few girl-friends. None of them were very healthy relationships.
family.
I'm finally ready to admit it- I have problems with food. I'm not hard core under weight or anything. But I have my issues. I tend towards anorexia. I gained weight because of one of my meds. It freaked me out. I've sort of come to accept it. But if I go up by even a pound I freak out. I'm obsessive about what I put in my mouth: it must be healthy, it can't more then x number of calories, etc. I have a problem.
I finally have been given a diagnosis of mild OCD.
I haven't cut in... it'll be two years in October. I've done some other stuff since then. The last time was January 2008.
I think i have a problem...
I was recently diagnosed with PCOS and Adult-onset Non-classical Congentital Adrenal Hyperplasia
I've been abused since I was 3 and now I have a lot of anxiety.
My dad raped me from ages 2-10. He then continued to sexually harass me.
I'm currently on an antibiotic, muscle relaxer, pain-killers, and an anti-nausea.
I don't know why, but it's been this way a long time. years and years. I get random bouts of vertigo, like the whole world tips for a moment. Sometimes when I close my eyes I get this feeling like when you're on a swing and you close your eyes as you swoosh through the air- it feels like that. No one's bothered to really look into what this could be.
I am painfully shy. It's not so bad on-line where I'm not being watched, I'm a writer, it's just.. easier. But it makes school hard. I also have trust issues.
Due to severe and chronic pain (and not testing positive for anything else) I am considered to have fibro
I have not been diagnosed, but I know my reality is not like other peoples. I hallucinate a lot. There are other people who live in my head. I tend to get paranoid. I fixate on things (sort of like someone with OCD might). But I'm so good at describing my experiences my therapist doesn't think it's as bad as it is. People don't realize how crazy I am.
I'm agoraphobic and as the sun goes down my stress goes up. I've had more then one panic attack from being outside too much.
