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dm9265 
Well, I am back. Sorry I haven't written in a while. As you probably know, I was on a trial drug at the Dana Farer Cancer Institue in Boston because the tumor on the outer colon was detected at 3/4 " at Cat Scan in November. I was in Boston for a little over a month. I had another CAT scan this past Tuesday. Bad News.. The trial drug is not working for me. CAT scan showed tumor was a little larger, new spots on liver and peritonial. I am so upset. They will now start me on doxil in two weeks. I can't get out of my head that I'm going to die from this disease. I don't really know what to do with myself. I just got back home yesterday and I feel so lost. My husband has been so awesome. He is very sad too. We have been crying for two days. I am not ready to die. I don't want to leave everyone behind. Has anyone taken Doxil before. What can I expect? I have been on Taxol Carbo, Cysplatin for ovarian and Adriamysen and Cytoxin for the breast cancer. How much more shit can I take? Please someone, tell me what to do? I am so scared.
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I have just finished Doxil. I had 3 round of that and hardly any side effects at all. I personally think it worked on the ascities around my lung but overall, the Doxil didn't work for me and I'm now on Avastin and Cytoxan. They had found another tumor in my pelvic area and a couple of the lymph nodes were enlarged. You would be amazed what you are able to do! You can do this! you cannot quit!! I know it's hard, believe me! I'm on my 4th line of chemo within 2 years. One day at a time!!!
Valloween
Thank you for letting us know how you are.. This has been such a tough call for you for so long now and anyone would be feeling despondent after the results of this latest treatment.. I sense that you have more fight in you for this... you are 'not ready to die'... and you 'don't want to leave everyone behind'.. these are bold and positive statements.. asserting your powerful Will to get through this.. let this be your mantra.. and let it ring through your being when you touch on the negative thoughts.. to banish them into oblivion..
None of us here knows whats going to happen.. when or how.. But right now.. dear friend... you are a survivor and you are with those that you don't want to leave behind... It's taken it's toll to get you this far.. but clearly you have so much to fight for still... please hold dear all that you love... nurture the good things around you.. they will give you the strength for the next round.. Very tough ... I know.. but I believe it's the best things around you that will carry you through this.. where as the dross will pull you down and take your strength.. When you have done all you can do... made the phone calls and arrangements.. been to appointments...signed bits of paper etc. and so on... Wrap the package up.. put it away... and enjoy all that you are here to enjoy.. its the best things in life that will help to heal the emotional wounds you have sustained over the past two years.. and sustain you through what is to come.. I believe it's vital in this battle not to let it take away the good things around you and to make those gifts strong by living them as fully as you are able... Please keep in touch and let us support you through this more... all my love and best wishes for peace and sustainment go with you xxxxxx
Halli