Barely here
November 4, 2009 11:15pm
I'm barely ever on here anymore, I don't know if its a good or bad thing. I'm getting married in August and am very happy about that but …
rutowsle 
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About Me
rutowsle
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About Me
26 year old college student with PTSD, and self injurous tendancies. I am in an awsome place in my life now! I went through 3 years of therapy and really benefited from it. I have done a 180 in my life and could not be happier. I also moved to Sioux Falls South Dakota and despite the financial difficulties and the rocky relationship (in the beginning) its the best move I've ever made. I rekindled a relationship with the one man who I've ever truely felt safe and comfortable with. It was rocky at first because of my insecurities but it has deepened into the most wonderful experience I've had. I've never known another person as deeply as I know Brian and I could not ask for a more loving and understanding man in my life. We are actually talking about marriage and I couldn't be happier. This is the happiest and most stable I've ever been (without meds even!!!) I am actually and genuinely happy!!!! We are engaged to get married August 21st 2010 and we will be moving back to Sioux Falls shortly after. We moved back to minnesota for work and to be closer to my family after the loss of my grandpa this last june.
26 year old college student with PTSD, and self injurous tendancies. I am in an awsome place in my life now! I went through 3 years of therapy and really benefited from it. I have done a 180 in my life and could not be happier. I also moved to Sioux Falls South Dakota and despite the financial difficulties and the rocky relationship (in the beginning) its the best move I've ever made. I rekindled a relationship with the one man who I've ever truely felt safe and comfortable with. It was rocky at
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Interests
reading, writing, poetry, nature, mind alterng "experiences", spending time with family and friends
reading, writing, poetry, nature, mind alterng "experiences", spending time with family and friends
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Recent Activity
Friday
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rutowsle changed their mood to Good 1:46am
November 4
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rutowsle wrote a journal entry: Barely here 11:15pm
I'm barely ever on here anymore, I don't know if its a good or bad thing. I'm getting married…
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rutowsle gave gjones a miss you 10:56pm
Sorry its been so long... been lost in the daily grind…
July 21
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rutowsle turned 26 12:00am
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Journal
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Journal Entry for May 6, 2009
May 6, 2009 12:24am
I was failing my social deviance class so I opted for a withdrawl rather than a fail. I've been so distracted this semester at work and with …
This entry is private
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So easy to forget
June 9, 2008 2:06am
It's so odd to go back and read my past entries. My abortion seems like a different lifetime. Christmas time was hard because thats when I would …
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Journal Entry for May 16, 2007
May 16, 2007 11:55pm
Mother's Day was weird, I wasn't sure if I had the right to feel upset. I made my decision knowing every reason was rational, but I keep thinking …
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Photos
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Support Groups
Close Depression
Type: Clinical (Major) DepressionI have been suicidal since I was 6. I was sexually abused as a child and have had PTSD since that time. I am 23 now. My last suicide attempt was Aug 3rd '06, I know I am VERY lucky to be alive. I've been in therapy with a great guy for over 2 years. Its done wonders for me.
Treatments
- Psychotherapy Working / Worked
- Working very well for me, has changed my life dramatically
- Wellbutrin Working / Worked
- Experienced a 180 literally 3 days into treatment. I have been on it for almost 3 years beside the 3 months before my suicide attempt
Close Sexual Abuse
I was molested by my older sister for two years beginning at age 6. I successfully repressed the memories until about 3 years ago. I began counseling about 6 months later and its been over 2 years now. I have PTSD, various addictions, and I self injure.
Treatments
- Psychotherapy Working / Worked
- Very positive experience, was lucky to find the right therapist! Its been a long hard road but its been worth it
Open Self-Injury
I started cutting 6 years ago. Now I burn myself. Its been a punishment, an episode, for control, and to feel. Now it just seems to consume. I don't know if I'll ever be able to stop.
Treatments
- Psychotherapy Working / Worked
- Its been helpful in many ways, with SI its been helpful informationally. (If thats even a word)
Open Meth Addiction & Recovery
I've been sober for 3 years! I was heavily into it for just under a year. I dove in head first dating and working with my dealer, had all of it that I wanted and more than I could handle. After breaking my ankle and throwing out my back, and winding up in the ER I somehow managed to quit. I couldn't tell you how I did it, I just remember it was hard! Strangely enough I wouldn't be where I am now without the hell I went through with meth.
