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Give artemis a Hug

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  fieldofdaisies (06/23/09)

  yah, many people will never let us live anything down from our past...pretty sad mentality..but oh so true...tha's why i just surround myself with just a few select group of people..don't have room or energy, or well enough for people who like gossip, people who are closed minded, and people who judge relentlessly..nope, not me...i'm skipping to my own tune..and just done with the bullshit and the preconceptions and all that stuff..and as far as your town goes, and what they "think" of you, you just hold your head up sister..you know what you are, and your a beautiful person..so don't let them make you feel any different..i say fk emmmm ....anyway, i'm so glad you had a better day today, and that you have the house to yourself for a little while..yah, i hear you , it is very diffictult for us with this illness to maintain a healthy realationshiop, often, because we are so busy just trying to keep ourselves stable and when we go off the wall...like off on a manic episode, then it really can hurt others, or just get them to be really worried about us..ect....and cause them alot of heartache and pain..and just the unstableness with a life with us, can be very very tough..it takes just a certain breed that can handle our mood swings and our mania and our depresison you know? alot of people don't know whatto make of it , as you said. anyway, but jen, i do think, with alot of hard work and discipline, and our meds of course, taht we can maintain some kind of stability in our lives...and i do beleive that if you wanted to, you could meet someone very nice, who would love you, and just be your best friend..i know that in fact...anyway, i love u, yah, your right about me and the alcohol, gotta be careful, best thing is just to not have it around, and the past 2 weeks i hnave spent so much mone hy on it thay i am completley broke right now,,so no money to buy it..that's a good thing,,anyway, i luv u ! and i'm thinking of you my dear sis...huge hugs, please be in touch ok? here for you always..maggei
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  fieldofdaisies (06/23/09)

  hey sweetie...no prob, i completely understand...just take care of you ok? i love u., maggie
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  fieldofdaisies (06/23/09)

  ps..yah, i do need to stya away from the bottle, and i feel bad that i was buyig beer for us all week...enabling both of us to self-medicate..anyway, i care for him very much as a dear friend...but better we stay awasy form eachother, while we both try to get better you know...and maybe we can help eahother throuhg it....i just think he is special, he's beautiful inside and ....i guess i think he needs someone to beleive in hhim, cuz it seems no one really does..and i know how that feels....i guess i am always attracted to help people who are the underdogs in this life..i guess, cuz i'm one..:) anyway, i love u jen, hope to talk to you, or chat with u soon....take care of u...ok, maggie
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  fieldofdaisies (06/23/09)

  hey jen! i am so happy to get your hug!!! i ws really getting worried about u....i'm glad your starting an anti-depressant..it should reallly help you when it takes effect...until then, just allow yourself to cry your heart out, to weep, and to just let it all out..nd feel the pain, you have been going through so much dear jen,and now, you just need to heal, and start a new life..crying is good for us, in that they have done studies and after a real good cry...it lets out our endorphins..you know how after you cry, really really cry adn weep..ther''s like a releif that ocmes, or like a kidn of peace....like a release..well, i think the ntural endorpins are at work in that, and also the fact that we allowed ourselves to just feeel our pain,just feel deeply our pain....and that is all a part of greiving and healing...i love u, nad i just want you to be ok...anyway, yah, your right, i have def. been using the cold ones' as self-medicator i think, i'm going to see my pdoc on the 25th..or the 24th, gottta check whcih day, but i have to tell him everything..you probabbly didn't get a chance..but if you do, read my last journal entry...about my night in jail..yup, i spent the night in jail.....not lst night, a week ago, but...it was my first time, and i never, ever want to go there again, never...anyway, hmmm , are u still thinking about buying yourself a house?...i'm glad you guys can do this with a minister...are you guys at all able to kind of be friends through this now? or is there too much pain, and maybe anger and hurt feelings and all? ...if you are not going in that direction, maybe one day you will..life is funny, you know...anyway, you should be so proud of yourself jen, and feel really good that through this very big transition in your life, you are not going for the bottle!!! good for u, my friend, i think thse aa mettings are really good for u...keepgoing back..!!! i know you will, i donthave to tell u, geez if i lived in the bush with u, we could go together! i'm gglad your maybe going to see sam this weekend!...i love u so much and miss u so much, please keep in touch ok! and call me anytime..i know money is probably tight right now, and i wish i could call u, but it's really tight here...i really need to find a job now..because the bills are pouring in....and i don't have the moneh to pay them..i love u so much dear sister...walk with god..and know that i am here for you anytime and i am so thankful to have u as my dear friend...i wish i could come and visit u sometime..who knows right? my love for my dear sister..peace for you jen, maggie
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  JOYHOLY (06/22/09)

  HELLO ARTEMIS,IF YOU NEED A FRIEND I AM HERE,LOVE LUCY.
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  fieldofdaisies (06/21/09)

  wtf are you girl? hope everythihg's all good, missing you so much...every little thing's gona be allright ok? just keep telling yourself that..i love u, maggie
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  fieldofdaisies (06/20/09)

  some love for my friend...thinking of you and worried cuz it's been a while since i heard from you...hope your ok my dear friend..i love u, maggie
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  fieldofdaisies (06/17/09)

  heyyou..did you get my very long message, waiting to hear from you..oh and i have to tell you what happened last night...geeeeez...ok...so, please write back as soon as you can ok? and also, yah, maybe we can chat , maybe even now..i'm gona try ya..i love you, maggie
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  Ray of Sunshine
  

  DontStealMySunshine (06/14/09)

  Hope things are looking up....(((HUGS)))
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  lmiklaucic (06/13/09)

  Flowers for you while you're in the hospital...and hugs for you when you get out! Good luck to you!!! Lori

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