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  • About Me

    Image of bns

    bns

    Female, 47
    Los Angeles, CA, USA
    Member since May 21, 2007

    • About Me

      Been in LA almost a year and still don't feel like home...

      Been in LA almost a year and still don't feel like home...

    • Interests

      Love food and chocolates... going to farmer's market is a treat... enjoy hiking, indie films and foreign movies, lazy morning brunch, travelling and reading

      Love food and chocolates... going to farmer's market is a treat... enjoy hiking, indie films and foreign

  • Recent Activity

    • Sorry, there is no activity in the My Activity feed.
  • Journal

    • Journal Entry for January 16, 2008

      Mood January 16, 2008 12:04pm

      I have been making contacts with headhunters and connecting with ex-colleagues. For the volunteering work, I have already submitted an appplication …
    • Journal Entry for December 12, 2007

      Mood December 12, 2007 2:56pm

      I haven't had much to say recently. For some reason, DS stopped sending alerts as well. Anyway I want friends to know I'm still here, …

    • Journal Entry for October 31, 2007

      Mood October 31, 2007 7:47pm

      Last week had been really eventful after the arrival of friends. We had a blast dining out almost every night till we craved wholesome, home-cooked …

    • Journal Entry for September 21, 2007

      Mood September 21, 2007 1:24pm

      It had been months since I last posted a message. Now that I am done with hysterectomy, I should be spending more time looking for a job. …
    • Journal Entry for June 30, 2007

      Mood June 30, 2007 6:58pm

      The more I learn to use this site, the more I love it!!!  I will be home for the month of Jul.  Likely to be pigging out and getting …

    Read Journal

  • Hugbook

    Give bns a hug



    • Hug

      From rose3 November 6, 2008

      Thanks! I'm here for you too!

    • Hug

      From rose3 November 2, 2008

      Hugs back to you too bns. I'm not sure what you've read about me recently in your reference to my "decision." I'm guessing it may be related to the goal I recently posted - to either work on rebuilding my relationship with my ex (which isn't happening) or to move forward in my life. I've been to a counsellor before for support in areas where I felt overwhelmed or just needed the additional support. However, recently, I have the opportunity for some free counselling sessions, and was willing to share them with my ex on behalf of our committment to continue to work on our relationship. However, he wanted to use my free sessions, but not while in a relationship. This is a compromise I'm not willing to make, because I've given too much already. And that's where things were left. Personally, I've been working hard on rebuilding my life and establishing important supports and doing things that fill me up in healthy ways, and I'm going to continue doing this with or without him. I feel it is his loss - he gave up so easily - he was away when we reconciled and broke up, so, we didn't even have a chance at a real relationship again. Anyhow, like you I believe in counselling, and was willing to make this committment with him, but not without him making any committments in return - that just isn't fair to me, in my view. Anyhow, I'm happy therapy is working for you and your hubby, and I do see some of what my situation with my ex was like in your situation - the stonewalling and not dealing with things in anger, etc. I've recently learned some important things about myself and have been eager to put some new practices - how I relate to my ex when I feel frustrated or angry with him (relating not through blame etc.), however, unfortunately, I wasn't able to put these very important changes into practice. But I'm ok... like I said, I'm working on my own life and on making it happy and fullfilling regardless of what the future will bring with him. Thanks for the hug, and I'm happy that you're making progress in your marriage. All the best to you.

    • Hug

      From rose3 October 24, 2008

      Me too! Have a nice day.

    • Hug

      From OJewel September 6, 2008

      random hug time

    • Hug

      From Arvey September 4, 2008

      thanks for the tumbs up on the not smoking it is going to be 2 months on Sunday.Hope all is well with you haven't been here forever.

    Read Hugbook

  • Support Groups

    • Close Healthy Relationships

      Married more than 2 years ago. Was a long distance relationship for 10 months. We're in our 40s and it helped move things quickly since we're sure about ourselves. He proposed after 3 months. You can never be 100% sure of your choice but you can be 100% committed to the relationship. Just work on it;-)

      Treatments

      Couples Counseling Somewhat Helpful
      Went for 3 sessions before he joined me. Surprisingly he found it useful though he was resistent at first. Nothing monumental changed but something shifted in him. He became more tender towards me. Partly I was reading Dr Laura Schlessinger's books. Pretty harsh on women but the tactics do work!
      Patience Working / Worked
      Yes, one of the important ingredient in relationships.
      Talking Not Working
      We do have problem communicating... PROBLEMS. I am the one with expectation how the relationship should be. He just let it be. I am bored and he's not.
      Writing Working / Worked
      I am more a verbal person. I need to articulate my frustrations.
    • Close Interracial Relationships

      Married a white American 2-and-half years ago. I moved to California to start our married life. In the beginning, I always felt like throwing it in and moving back home whenever we fought. Things are looking up now. I started going to therapy on my own and on the third session, he decided to join me. That was BIG! It started the ball rolling towards a healthy relationship.

    • Open Career Changes

      New to the city, and to a certain extent, this country. Now that I have stopped moving from city to city and gotten my permanent residency more than a year ago, I should be more active looking for a job. In my transistional state, I really don't know where my passion lies. I want a job that is more fulfilling. That's where I am stuck.

  • Friends


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