Journal Entry for February 2, 2009
February 2, 2009 9:21pm
There we go! I finally uploaded some new pictures. But, it would only let me do two before it stopped working again. I really sure …
Firedancer
11:57am, July 3, 2009
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About Me
Firedancer
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About Me
I don't do so well with saying who I am in one small paragraph! I'm in school full time-- majoring in psychology. I've got a beautiful mare that I just love-- riding horses is my passion. My little love is Scouty, a rescued golden retriever. I have the most amazing boyfriend who I will someday marry. I'm really close to my family (well, parents and sister, anyway). I have a fabulous life that is darkened by fibromyalgia. I'm desperately trying to learn how to cope with the pain.
I don't do so well with saying who I am in one small paragraph! I'm in school full time-- majoring in psychology. I've got a beautiful mare that I just love-- riding horses is my passion. My little love is Scouty, a rescued golden retriever. I have the most amazing boyfriend who I will someday marry. I'm really close to my family (well, parents and sister, anyway). I have a fabulous life that is darkened by fibromyalgia. I'm desperately trying to learn how to cope with the pain.
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Interests
Zachary, Mare, and Scouty... I don't know how I got so lucky. Don't know what I'd do without them.
Zachary, Mare, and Scouty... I don't know how I got so lucky. Don't know what I'd do without them.
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Recent Activity
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Journal
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Journal Entry for May 2, 2008
May 2, 2008 8:19pm
I'm way proud of myself today-- I feel so acomplished! Scout woke me up at about 6:15, but I convinced him to stay in bed with me until 7. …
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Journal Entry for April 30, 2008
April 30, 2008 1:42pm
Had an appointment at the sleep disorder center today. It went really well. I hope they can figure something out. I was really …
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Journal Entry for April 29, 2008
April 29, 2008 9:56pm
Man, I have such a hard time with these! I want to keep it updated because times like now, when I have something to say, I wish the rest of it was …
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Journal Entry for March 31, 2008
March 31, 2008 10:00pm
I LOVE MY LIFE!!
I cannot tell you the last time I felt that, if I ever had. There are things that get to me now and then, but really, …
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Hugbook
Hug
suzanne my friend!? How the hell are you?
Hug
Im so happy you get to see your man!
Hug
What kind of pain are you having? I'm doing pretty good considering. Got a ton going on right now, but managing the best I can. Kids are okay. Except Seth, my oldest. He is getting ready to leave soon for a psych treatment center for a year or two. He has a lot of problems.
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Hug
Hey honey! Haven't seen you in forever! How are you?
Prayer
I remember you and your zach in my prayers. hang in there my friend :0)
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Photos
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Support Groups
Close Eating Disorders
My diagnosis is EDNOS because I have a mix of anorexic and bulimic symptoms. Been through hell and back struggling with this damn eating disorder. I had to update this because I was in recovery, but have slipped back again. Don't really know what to do-- lost my therapist, and this feels just so damn good. I'm back to eating very little, and am throwing up about 90% of what I eat. Somewhere in me I know that it's not good, but it's really making life feel better.
Treatments
- Group Therapy Considering
- In the past I did a support group thing at the eating disorder center here. It helped some, but I found myself just getting really competitive with the other patients.
- Lexapro Working / Worked
- Just one of several meds that I'm on. I think it helps with some of my really impulsive behaviors.
- Psychotherapy Working / Worked
- My most recent therapist was awesome, but she left to take another position elsewhere. I tried one other, and I didn't like her. It's just so hard to find new ones-- I've had easily 8 or more therapists in tha past.
- Residential Treatment Center Somewhat Helpful
- I was in rehab for close to 2 years. I only slightly mentioned my eating problems once or twice, but no one really picked up on the severity. The last couple months that I was in my step-down program, I went back into full swing of not eating and purging when I had to.
- Support from Friends & Family Somewhat Helpful
- It's somewhat helpful when I actually want recovery. But, now I don't really talk to them because I want to keep doing what I'm doing.
Close Self-Injury
I've become addicted to self-injury. I consider myself in full recovery (it's been over 8 MONTHS since the last time I cut!), but of course still think about it on a daily basis. I'd love more than anything to be able to help other people like me, because they pain they're going through just breaks my heart. Seeing other people in the place that I was helps me to remember the reasons why I love being in recovery.
Treatments
- Talking Working / Worked
- My best friend really carried me through some of my hardest times. She was recovering from cutting herself, so she understood what I was going through and how to help. Her patience with me when I called her in a panic at all hours was immensely helpful.
Open Military Families
I am the proud girlfriend of a soldier. He's stationed in Texas and scheduled to deploy again this January 2009 for another year. It's so hard to be away from my love!
Open Vegetarians & Vegans
I'm a vegetarian. I limit dairy because I'm lactose intolerant, as well.
Open Healthy Sex
Well... I like sex, and I want to be healthy.
Open Sexual Abuse
I'm just now beginning to put the pieces together about some childhood sexual abuse. I'm lost and confused about it all, and it scares me a lot.
Open Fibromyalgia
I hurt all the fucking time, and all I want to do is sleep. I hate this so, so much! I want my life back...
