I am back....
June 22, 2008 5:12pm
Hi, I haven't been here in quite some time, because I really thought I didn't have time for this and I don't get to spend a lot of time …
Progress
15 %
felini 
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About Me
felini
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About Me
I am a 40 yr old female, married, no children, one cat, one dog. I have suffered from depression (PTSD) for many years, and it continues to be an ongoing illness. I now see a tx regulary and take meds to help me get up everyday and keep going. My core belief is that I refuse to give in or give up, and let "them" win. I think this is what has kept me alive for this long.
I am a 40 yr old female, married, no children, one cat, one dog. I have suffered from depression (PTSD) for many years, and it continues to be an ongoing illness. I now see a tx regulary and take meds to help me get up everyday and keep going. My core belief is that I refuse to give in or give up, and let "them" win. I think this is what has kept me alive for this long.
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Interests
Fishing, Gardening, Hiking, Camping, Crochet, and spending as much time as possible with my 10 nieces and nephews. They are my world.
Fishing, Gardening, Hiking, Camping, Crochet, and spending as much time as possible with my 10 nieces
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Recent Activity
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Journal
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Journal Entry for July 7, 2007
July 7, 2007 10:54am
Hi, It's been awhile since I was last here. I don't exactly know what I have been doing, but I do know that I haven't been focusing …
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Journal Entry for May 25, 2007
May 25, 2007 10:16am
I feel so tired, yet I continue to move and attempt to be productive. I am worried about next week, paying off this old debt etc.... Now, my …
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Journal Entry for May 20, 2007
May 20, 2007 5:09pm
The effects of my depression of my past has finally caught up with me. I went through a really terrible time about 8-10 years ago. This caused me …
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Hugbook
Hug
hi read you had hiatil surgery and that it didnt work the 1st time....what kind of surgery did they do was it the laproscope and what was recovery like...I have to go for one more test endoscopy and then the dr is referring me to a specialist in a hospital that does the laproscope...any thing you can tell me would be appreciated....thanks and hugs
Hug
Thank you for the comment on my journal. I understand the dichotomy you face with your emotions. Please feel free to contact me as I am here for you. Jon
Hug
I am amazed by your strength...many days I don't want to get up either, but I cannot let the SA of myself or my Daughter define me. You are the sweet lady who loves animals and the sun shines for you too. Talk to your therapist, let h(sh)e know how you feel and how to be more effetive. Hugs, G
Flower
Big love to you, for your support and strength, and for the wonderful person that you are!!!!!!!!Keep on keeping on woman. Luv and squidges Bomboolie xoxo
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I’m With You
Always know you have someone here who understands and cares...as I am gaining in strenght I hope I can be here for you when you need a friend Luv and Hugs Jules XOXOXOXOOXOX
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Photos
felini hasn’t uploaded any photos yet
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Support Groups
Close Depression
Type: Clinical (Major) DepressionI have suffered from clinical depression for over 20 years now. My mother died when I was 12. I've been dealing with her death, her abuse, her alcoholism. Enduring and coping with other types of abuse during my childhood and into my teen years. unresolved issues. I have been in therapy on-off for several years.Playing the on-off med game too. I am here to learn, support others and understand about this lifelong hell I've suffered.
Treatments
- Prozac Working / Worked
- I use Effexor XR together with Wellbutrin XL. This seems to be working, but I would love to stop the med process if possible.
- Psychotherapy Working / Worked
- I started going to therapy for Survivors of alcoholic parents while I was in College. I have found a great tx now and I am trying very hard to stick with it.
Close Hiatal Hernia
I have had 2 surgeries to repair the hiatal hernia's and in addition had the nissen fundoplication. Now I am still on Nexium. Both surgeries failed. I just live with it now....
Treatments
- Nexium Working / Worked
- Nexium is the only thing that seems to work for me. Getting it approved by my insurance has been a real nightmare, but finally they did approve it.
- Prozac Working / Worked
- I have had the Nissen Fundoplication done, and then it had to be redone, due to a failed 1st surgery. I have had quite a run with this and it has caused damage to the Vegus Nerve which has caused major swallowing problems/delays as well as gastro emptying delays. I am taking Erythromicin 3-4 times daily. It depends on the day, and what I eat as to how I feel physically.
Open Sexual Abuse
I was SA by my father from the time that I was 8 (that I remember). Things got worse after my mother died when I was 12. It ended when I was around 16-17. Even though it has ended and passed, I will never be ok. I will never be "normal" I will never know what it's like to have a normal childhood w/o experiencing any type of abuse.
Treatments
- Psychotherapy Working / Worked
- The tx helps a great deal because I have found a therapist who has been able to make me really look back and see myself then and now. I highly recommend this as a tx.
- Prozac Working / Worked
- It is too hard to talk about, really, but I know that it is a demon I will face for the remainder of my life. I don't think I will ever be a real and "normal" person because of it. I hate living like this, and sometimes I don't want to live anymore, but I keep going. I feel sad and empty most of the time, but I don't allow most people to see that side of me.
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