Journal

I found out this afternoon while looking at my wrist that I have what looks like a calcium deposit. I wonder if that is a sign that means i'm about to have a flare up with my lupus.

i go to see my counselor in the morning i wonder if she will suggest that the dr put me on something to help with the depression it has been almost a week since the diagnosis and i keep hurting and having hot flashes it is starting to get to me.

I have had since friday to take in all of this information about lupus and still i keep thinking that everything will be ok but i cannot help feeling depressed. will i ever be able to have kids again? will i always be in so much pain? things keep going through my head and i don't know how to figure it all out.
i now understand why i had more complications with my second pregnancy than i did my first because i got pregnant shortly after they did the blood work and then failed to tell me that i had lupus. my son will be a year old in 2 weeks and i have no idea how i will feel from day to day let alone 3 hours from now.