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Jenelle8 
4:36pm, May 15, 2009
I was on bedrest in the hospital praying everyday that I would carry my boys to term. You ladies were such a driving force that kept me positive when I was feeling my lowest. I know for a fact I could have never made it through ths past 2 years without all of you.
Ethan and Cole will be 10 months old next week, unbelieveable!!! I honestly can't tell you where the time has gone so quickly. They are both trying to walk, Ethan has 2 teeth and says mama, dada and hi. Cole is into everything!!!! He was pulling to stand at 7 months. Life is crazy but so much fun. As sad as it is to see my babies turning into little boys, it warms my heart to see them learn and grow. They really have healed our hearts in so many ways.
I went back to work a month ago part-time. It is the perfect balance for me and the boys. It gives us all a break from one another but it is only for a few hours at a time. I love my new job and my new boss is fantastic!!! I also love the boy's babysitter, a sweet Menonite woman who loves the boys dearly. Financially we could be doing better if I went back to work full-time but Mike and I agreed to do without alot so I could be home with the boys. It has been worth every second.
Our house is still undere construction but we are back in and slowly unpacking boxes, painting doors and hanging trim. My life is very blessed and I count all you ladies among my blessings.
If I could have one wish come true, it would be for all of you to see your dreams of motherhood come to fruition. I know I have hardly been on here been a terrible friend. All of you are never far from my mind. I pray that you will all get your BFPs very soon. Please don't ever lose hope. I heard once that it is only in our darkest days when we can see the light. I know many of you have been struggling for years and probably feel like throwing in the towel. Please don't. I know I don't have to tell you how wonderful the end result will be because you would've quit along time ago it wasn't. I just want to remind you that the day I lost Andrew and Reggie was my darkest day to date. I remember sitting in that hospital room onthe maternity floor thinking I did not want to move forward in life and I certainly didn't want to ever try to get pregnant again or fear of feeling this pain again. I thought I would surely die from a repeat experience. It was the strength of all of you, my husband, my family and my faith in God (even though I was so angry with him at the time) that pulled me out of my abyss. Especially CarrieAnn, Tami, Lauren, Erinleigh, Soojin and so many others who were there for me during those early days. You may never know how much you impacted my life. There are still days when the raw emotions of that day returns and it feels as if I lost them yesterday. It is hard to believe that it was almost 2 years ago. I will never stop missing my boys, but I am glad to know that Andrew and Reggie look after Ethan and Cole everyday.
Please know I am alwys rooting for you and sending a special prayer up to heaven for each of you.
Love,
Jenelle
Comments
If you want to check out the latest pics of the boys go to www.eyesofachildphotography.com and enter the site. Click on clients in the righthand corner and enter the password cooper08. They are beautiful pictures taken by the same lady who took my maternity photos. I hope you enjoy them. I am unable to post pics on here since the homepage changed. I have emailed DS multiple times and had no success so no new pics for me I guess.
We are back in our house finally!!!!! Praise God. We don't have internet access right now so this will be brief. The boys are great and growing so fast. They roll over, try to crawl, belly laugh and talk alot!!! There are days I still can't believe they are mine. They were worth the struggle and heartache to get them here.
I am thinking about all of you and praying for you. I know this past weekend must have been hard for many of you. Please know that you are all already mothers and your children are coming. I love you all and will write more when I can.
Love,
Jenelle
UPDATED GOALS
Breastfeed a year
Progress 50%
Encouragements: 0
Add your supportComments
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They are absolutely beautiful!
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I love the pics Jenelle!!! So glad you are in the house and looking forward to more updates soon.
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Jenelle these photos are so beautfiul, they just capture the joy,innocence, and the wonderful miracle these 2 beautiful boys are!!! Happy belated Mommies day to you!!
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Oh my goodness, your boys are absolutely precious. Happy mothers day to you.
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The pics were great. I had looked at them the other day. They are growing so fast. I still find it hard to believe that my boys are ours and someone isn't going to come and take them from me. I am so glad you are in your house and now can be your little family of four. It only begins to get better from here, a little harder at times, but better.....
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Those are the most wonderful pics! You deserve all of this!
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Those are GORGEOUS....ever single one of 'em!!!!!!!
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Wonderful to hear. I am so happy for you both. It is just an amazing ride huh? We look back on all of this and just think God put us thru this for a reason. It may have been hard to comprehend at first but He totally knows what he is doing. I wish you the best and can't wait to see the pics!
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OMG! I should have viewed your pics before I commented! They are absolutely gorgeous!!! I am thinking of driving to MD from East PA for an appt!!! :-)
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He pictures are amazing! I cannot believe how much they have grown.
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I can't wait to see the pics - I'm sure they are beautiful! So glad that you guys are in your house now...what a wonderful time for you, Mike, and the boys...you deserve all the happiness that lies ahead of you!!!!
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Oh my gosh! Those pictures are amazing!
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Beautiful pics! Is she located in Frederick? That is right where I live. How far is that from you?
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they are gorgeous!! those bright blue eyes oh my goodness! :)
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precious!
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Excellent pictures, they are growing so well.
Hello my beautiful friends. I have missed you all and have been thinking and praying for all of you. Congrats to all the new BFP's!!! What a lovely spring!!! To those of you who have just delivered your miracles, congrats on your precious blessings. I promise you will sleep again someday!!! To my friends who are still fighting and waiting for their miracles, please keep trying and keep the faith. I promise you it is so worth the fight.
On the 22nd of March we baptised Ethan and Cole. One year earlier I was mourning my due date and the reality that I would never get to see my boys Andrew and Reggie grow up. I try these days to not take a single moment with my boys for granted. It was so ironic to be welcoming our new boys into the church on the day we would have had their brothers had I made it to term. The same priest that baptised Andrew and Reggie and performed their memorial service baptised the boys. It was a beautiful service and Father Dan mentioned Andrew and Reggie during the prayer for the saints. He referred to them as Saint Andrew Michael and Saint Reginald Walter. My dad and two best friends lost it when he did that but I managed to keep it together until the end of the service. The priest presented me with two prayer blankets that we made by a mother who had lost her son in a car accident. He said that she prays for women who have lost their babies in the past that they may have safe subsequent pregnancies. It was so touching. I will keep them close to my heart always. I have tried to post some pictures from that day but the DS has given me many problems the past few days. The boys looked adorable in their little white suits.
The boys are growing like weeds and are now 4 months today. Ethan can roll over from his back to his stomach and has started to creep. Cole wants to stand all the time. They both smile and laugh and are just a joy. I can't believe how lucky I am after all the hardship we had to endure. My only wish is that all my friends here at DS can get their longed for BFP's and be able to have the children they have prayed for and dreamed of for so long. I hope that my story can help at least one person to not give up even when they are exhausted from fighting this fight. I wanted to give up many times over the past 4 years. If it wasn't for the support of my husband and you lovely ladies I know Ethan and Cole wouldn't be here right now. I don't understand why bad things happen to good people or why any of us have to endure infertility. It has changed all of us and affected our lives forever.
There is no doubt that infertility sucks. However, I can find 2 good things that came out of this journey. Number 1, I met all of you incredible women. You have all enriched my life in ways you may never know. Secondly, I feel that personally I am a much more patient mother than I may have been had I not gone through IF and my losses. I am a very impatient person by nature. I have amazed my family and myself with the amount of patience I have had for two babies who can be very fussy and demanding for most of the day. I am grateful for every cry, every fit, every poopie diaper, every time I get peed on or spit-up on and every middle of the night feeding. I thank God for this journey because it gave me all of you, Andrew, Reggie, Ethan and Cole.
I love all of you and pray for all of you. Although I am not on here often, you are all never far from my thoughts and my heart. Please know that I carry all of you with me.
Love,
Jenelle
P.S. We will be moving back into our house in a few weeks!!!!!! Yay!!! I can't believe we have been out of our house since Sept of 07!!
UPDATED GOALS
Breastfeed a year
Progress 30%
Encouragements: 0
Add your supportComments
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It's so great to hear that you're doing well! Can't wait to see new pics of the boys.
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So glad that you and the family are well. I know what you mean when you say you got patience, cause when I am extremely exhausted or frustrated, I think of women who yearn to have what I have and how women who have lost their babies would pray to have their babies cry and wake them up. I know our sons our little miracles and we cherish them the way they should be. Thank you for the lovely announcement. It is a joy to hear how great things are going for you guys. Big Hugs.
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I love this entry Jenelle....it really brought a huge smile to my face! It was great chatting with you today and can't wait to see you soon!
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what a great entry jenelle! I only teared up a few times! so so so happy f or u
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Aawww, I'm sitting at work with tears streaming down my cheeks...the baptism sounds like it was beautiful! You continue to inspire me...if I had even half the strength that you do, I'm sure I'd be in a better place right now! You sound so incredibly happy...and if anyone deserves happiness, it's you!!!
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Your stiry is an inspiration to me. I can't believe that they are 4 months old already. How time flies. Enjoy every second with them. Thank you for being the strong woman that you are!
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This entry makes me want to cry happy tears. Thank you for all that you are! Congrats on getting to move home. You have waited so long, I'll bet you are thrilled!
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My heart is filled with so much gratitude to God for what he has brought into your life. I don't take you for granted nor the friendship you have offered. My only wish is that we lived closer.
You have endured so much and I know that Ethan and Cole are the daily reminders you have of God's love and provision over you and Mike. I believe with all my heart that Andrew and Reggie chose Ethan and Cole for a very special purpose...and I hope you see Andrew and Reggie in the smiles of Ethan and Cole.
I love you, sweet friend.
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That sounds like a beautiful baptism. It is so great to hear about the great blessings in your life and that all is well. IF really does suck, but I agree that there has actually been some good that has come from it. Good friends and some good life lessons and growth.
So exciting you get to move back into your house!
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I can honestly say that your story kept me fighting for what I want. I am happy for you and your beautiful family.
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It is wonderful to hear that you and your boys are doing so well. I completely second the blessings this IF journey has given, it's a tough road; however the ladies on this site are amazing (You are amazing) and the journey give some much appreciation for the little things in life, like the love and support of your partner. And if/when you do get that longed for BFP, one doesn't even mind the 50+lb weight gain, or kidney kicks, or pending sleepless nights, everything is more vibrant. Look after you and those precious men in your life.
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You say it so perfectly...and I'm so glad you have your boys.
Past Entries
Goal Updated
I am so glad to hear that things are going well w/the boys - can't believe they are 10 months already! Yes - time does fly!
You are most definitely an inspiration to so many of us! You went through hell and back and never gave up...you handled everything with so much grace...you definitely deserve all the happiness you have been blessed with! :)
Jenn17
Glad things are going well. Hugs to ya sister!
LDosch
10 months already! Oh my time does fly. What a wonderfully sweet journal to read today. You are a fabulous mommy and those 2 little boys are so very blessed. As Jenn said, you deserve all the happiness you have been blessed with. Now my time is coming and very soon! Can't wait to share mommy stories with you Jenelle!! :) xoxo
JeanieMarie
a year already? I am so glad your family is doing so well.
pug girl
i love u jenelle! i'm so glad to be a part of this wonderful journey with u, you have been as special and inspiring to me and many others as we have for u! hugs to those delicious boys!! xoxoxo
erinleigh
Times sure does fly. I am so glad all is well! My little guy is 6 months already and truly a blessing! Pleas keep us updated!
lvnikita
Wow--time really is going by so quickly. I'm so glad everything is going so well for you! I hope that I, too, can join in the dream of pregnancy/motherhood soon--it's amazing to me that all the above commenters are success stories--so inspirational. Thanks for the update!
AshleyPenelope
Time goes crazy fast! I am so happy to hear you and your boys are doing great.
CarrieAnn
So great to hear from you! I know I can't believe how fast time flies now and that Collin is 6 months old. I'm glad the boys are doing so well!
Jen2279
Wow that is a wonderful journal entry. I am so glad that you are seeing your dreams fullfilled. I have cherished your friendship as well. I know Andrew and Reggie are looking after Ethan and Cole. I know I look at Bailey and know that I would never change my life's path cause that means I would not know my bailey and i cherish him so much that I would never not want to be his Mom. I know my Boys Sebastian and Blake are watching over him and smiling at him. I see such a sweetness and healing energy from Bailey that I know he was sent specially from god to us to help us heal and remind us of what is good. Enjoy your family. Love Jasmine
jazzan6
Wow, 10 months already! It just seems like yesterday that I read you had Ethan and Cole! You are an amazing person, your strengthen and faith has helped me thru my darkest days! God Bless you and your Beautiful family!
pechevarria
Beautifully written. Thank you for taking the time to share with us your deepest feelings. I'm sure time is something you don't have a lot of! Thank you for your comment in my journal. We are doing great & couldn't be happier! Take care...
Babywishes