Journal

Well, I'm back. I'm depressed again, I was at the point where I was feeling good about me, and my situation, now I'm back down in the dumps, for one I work with a bunch of unprofessional people, who expect to much for such little pay, what's that about? Then we have been having a lot of financial issues leaving me paying the bulk of the bills. I'm even fatter than I was from the beginning, it seems like I just keep blowing up into a beach whale. My car broke down, but thank GOD for my dad that he gave me his car, and took mine to fix up, I really appreciated that , I just said thank you JESUS. I complain a lot, but i'm doing better than many people. My consumer called me after hours just crying and crying talking about someone broke into her home. I felt so sorry for her, but what could I do. It's just a burden on me, taking care of so many people's lives. When am I gonna take care of my pitiful life. When am I gonna love me for a change. I've been fighting these demons forever. It seems as if my med's are not working for me, and I need to up my dosage. Ill ask my doctor about that. Crying out for friendship here.

Christa

I woke up this morning feeling depressed, once again. This must stop. I am to blessed to be stressed. I am scared to face the day's challenges. I did not go to church. My back is killing me. I believe I need a new matress. I applied for this job, I screwed up on the interview. It seems that I am not having the best day, but I am having a blessed day. I am out of my zoloft so I was going off on everyone yesterday. I have to apologize today. Today is going be such a good good day, and if I don't get the job that I applied for that means it was not for me. What GOD has for me it is for me. You knw. It's hard to find a decent paying job with just a BSW, I really need to focus on getting a Master's in the near future, but n what? SW, I think not. I need to take the time and break down my life in order to c what I need to do to improve my situation. Not to mention my husband. Maybe it's just me, or does a marriage suppose to b a partnership? I think it should be. On a positive note I luv my children and I knw they love me as well. I believe that I am and awsome mom, not appreciated by my husband ,but as a mom I excel above the limit. I have awsome parents. That's great. I also knw that when I need someone I can always go to my father, which is the Lord, and he will b there. Monday will b my time to start workin on my goal. Ten lbs. down by the end of June. I think I can do it. I also need to work on resisting evil spirits, because they r every where. The BIBLE tells us to shun evil companions, and that's what I need to work on. OK, I feel better now. I am going to church at some point today, but first I need to get up and do the dishes. Hehe!!!!

Christa