Simba's Journal

Im awake because I cant sleep. I was not aware of WHY I cant sleep. I just am. Last night I had a dream about a guy touching me, I couldnt identify why he was touching me in such a sexual manner

Tonight I am remembering being in abusive relationship. I remebered being yelled at, called names, slapped and punched and enduring verbal, spiritual and emotional abuse. Then when he was done I was raped. This happened every week. At least once. Sometimes several times.

When I finally left this jerk, I was pregnant. Yet another non consentual pregnancy. I refused to have another baby by this rapist, so I had an abortion. I feel bad about that.

I dont know why this is coming up, Im certain it is part of my healing process. I didnt squash it,  I let the feelings come up and decided to journal it. Im sure at some point, I will cry. Im also certain at some point, I will heal enjoy to enjoy sex one day.