ozangel's Journal

The Lupus road is too bumpy.....so up and down, just like my feelings.

Some days I wake up and it's like someone (just for a joke) took away 50 IQ points while I was sleeping and they send me out in the world to 'do ma thing', all the while laughing at my befuddledness and blank thoughts.  I know that I am capable, experienced and well trained but on those days I can only conclude that I am not meant to be nursing and ask why? when I love it so much.

And then just as quickly as it went, the missing portion of my brain returns miraculously and I go back to normal for a little while. It makes me feel stupid at times, and feel like screaming out that there really is a smart person trapped deep down in here somewhere. I am trying a new diet regime to try and clear my head more......I feel desperate. It's a bit like good cop/bad cop = dumb girl/smart girl, please stay forever smart girl, you are so welcome.

Lately I have been having trouble with my gums and it feels like I have a dental infection that is extending, glands under my neck sore on the affected side and a headache on that side too and feeling 'flu like. Then my eyes want to close, they just hurt to have open, and I just need to sleep a lot. And of course with all this happening there goes that 50 IQ points again. I am becoming quite sick of dealing with the multitude of different symptoms......I don't know what to address from one day to the other. I am tired, so tired and dumb girl is in residence again so I had a crap day at work.

Honk if you hate LUPUS!