tannkgirl's Journal

I havent seen my brother in almost 10 years.  The last time I saw him I was 15 and he had come to visit my moms house, had a lot of anger problems and when he left he smashed a window and never came back to visit.  He lives down in southern california.  He basically cut everyone out of his life - i dont know if it was drugs or mental issues or what.  It has been difficult for my parents but they do communicate with him although he refused to communicate with me.  He is my only sibling, my older brother and he was my role model growing up.  5 years ago when I was looking at universities, I went down to southern california to look at a bunch of the universities that I got into and I called him up to see if he wanted to see me.  He told me he didn't want to see me.  I said I haven't seen him in 4 years and he said, "then whats another 4" don't come see me and hung up on me.  That was the last time I even had contact with him, until tonight.

He called me about 2 hours ago - I didn't even know who it was at first.  He told me that he loves me and that he thinks about me and cares about me.  He said he loved me at least 3 times and he told me happy birthday and asked how I was doing and etc.  We only spoke for a few minutes but the things he said, how he loved me and cares about me...it meant more to me then anything that has happend in my life then longer then I could remember.  After we hung up, I sat there for about 10 minutes crying.  I haven't cried like that for anything happy in my life, ever.  I don't know what has ever meant that much to me.  It was the best birthday present that I have ever had.  I will never forget this.