I plan to quit smoking cigarettes.
September 16, 2009 12:10am
I decided this today when i realized ive been smoking for 12 years and im only 20 years old. I know ill end up with cancer if i dont stop, so im …
Progress
5 %
gothicmelody666
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About Me
gothicmelody666
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About Me
my names mary and im 18. ive been smokin pot since i was 8 and the fisrt time i ever picked up a cigarette was when i was 5. i dont have too many friends that i can actually call friends and my b/f is an asshole but i still love him. hes the only person i can say is my best friend. ive been cutting since i was 13. i quit for awhile but i relapsed when me and my ex split. im now back with my ex and all i can think about is if he was happier with those other bitches than he was with me. i know he loves me more than life or he wouldnt have forgiven me for all of the fucked up things ive done. i still hate myself everyday for it and its only making me feel worse. i wish i could forget.
my names mary and im 18. ive been smokin pot since i was 8 and the fisrt time i ever picked up a cigarette was when i was 5. i dont have too many friends that i can actually call friends and my b/f is an asshole but i still love him. hes the only person i can say is my best friend. ive been cutting since i was 13. i quit for awhile but i relapsed when me and my ex split. im now back with my ex and all i can think about is if he was happier with those other bitches than he was with me. i know he loves
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Interests
i like to sing and listen to music. i like painting, all types of art, ect im really intrested in death, religion, outter space ;), mythology, astrology, and history. i love animals more than anything on this planet.im into photography and i love goin to concerts.
i like to sing and listen to music. i like painting, all types of art, ect im really intrested in death,
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Recent Activity
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Journal
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Over
September 15, 2009 11:55pm
We are over at last. We are no more. I am free from verbal conflit and I am free of shame.No more regrets.Nothing left to ingest.We are over at …
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EVERYTHING
September 15, 2009 11:46pm
Alot has happened in the last year. Ive been working at the bar for over a year now! I also have a second job working with Dave's (soundman at …
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Journal Entry for June 17, 2008
June 17, 2008 7:16am
ok so its June and i still dont have a job. ive put n applications online but my b/f says its not good enough but any time you go to a store and ask …
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Journal Entry for June 17, 2008
June 17, 2008 7:16am
ok so its June and i still dont have a job. ive put n applications online but my b/f says its not good enough but any time you go to a store and ask …
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Hugbook
I’m With You
Hey....I saw you wanted chat with me.....I am sorry I was lil busy but if you want we can chat now.....
Hug
Smile :)
Gold Star
all you can do is try mary(no one else can do it for you) yr beautiful
Thumbs Up
good job. trying to shape up your life is the start of learning your place in life.
Hug
I'm glad you are good.. If you ever need someone, please feel free to contact me.
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Photos
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Goals
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Support Groups
Close Physical & Emotional Abuse
the last boyfriend i dated for about 6 months, hurt me really bad while we were together and he scared the ever living shit out of me, but when we broke up he pushed me down and grabbed my wrists leaving them very visably bruised. i had to explain to my parents what happend. it sucked
Treatments
Open Bisexuality
i used to look at my dads playboys when i was like 5. and i havent quit liken girls since.
Open Marijuana Addiction & Recovery
the first hit of weed i ever took was when i was 8 and i havent put donw the pipe since
Treatments
- Music Working / Worked
Open Breakups & Divorce
i broke up with my boyfriend of 3 years and its harder than i ever expected
Treatments
- Love Not Working
- Support Groups Too Soon to Tell
- Time Somewhat Helpful
- Music Working / Worked
- Crying Working / Worked
Open Personality Disorders
well im anti-social, and paranoid, all the time and i feel like i cant ever live without my ex.
Treatments
Open Self-Injury
i started cutting when i was in 7th grade and i met someone who helped me quit but we recently broke up so i started cutting again
Treatments
Open Prescription Drug Abuse
i love to take downers. they make me happy believe it or not but some of them i think i might truly need
Treatments
- Music Working / Worked
Open Phobia
Type: Social Phobiai dont like to be around alot of people or talk to anybody. i like to have my own space.
Treatments
- Hypnotherapy Not Working
- Music Working / Worked
- Crying Working / Worked
Open Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder
certain words trigger me to think about things id love to forget. one word can throw me into a flashback. i worry constantly about everyday things that i think could kill me like driving. i cant trust anybody on the road.
Treatments
Open Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD)
i constantly pick at things and i count everything i do. i have to have an even amount of everything.
Open Depression - Teen
Treatments
Open High School Stress
i couldnt stand everyones judgements or their criticism. i was depressed so all i wanted to do is sleep and be angry.
Treatments
- Psychotherapy Somewhat Helpful
- Tegretol Working / Worked
- they made me very happy but then i just quit taking them when i started to abuse the cold med. coricedin.
- Crying Working / Worked
Open Sexually Transmitted Diseases - Female
Type: Chlamydiai recently found out i have chlamydia, and i didnt even have the slightest clue i had it, but i got antibiotics for it so im gonna be all good.
Open HPV
a couple of weeks ago i was diagnosed with HPV and i am high risk for cancer meaning i have a tumor on my cervix and im high risk for cancer
Treatments
- Colposcopy Not Working
- I NEVER received results from my doctor.
- Gardasil Considering
- I had one shot that costed me $250. I cannot afford another.
Open Smoking Addiction & Recovery
Im going to try to quit smoking on September 23. I need the support
Treatments
- Nicotine Patch Considering
- Willpower Too Soon to Tell
