Join Now
Wick 
Ok I am depressed, I went to a wedding by myself this weekend and saw all the couples that were there and I guess it really got to me. The lady in my life, I adore and my only regret is that we live so far apart and we don't see each as often as we both like. My life is very solidtary if thats the right spelling and some times it gets to me. You would think after living alone for over two years I would be getting over it but I have not. My health has not been great mostly due to stress with family, the divorce and the job. I am not very close to my family immediate and otherwise, it was not always that way but with the passing of my dad and other family members over the years the whole family had fallen into disarray.
So my life is mostly work and home, work and home. I have been in a rut for over two years now hoping that I can finally be free of the heavy weight around my neck that was once my so called wife. We go back to court next month but I am having a very easy time of not being very optomistic about the out come. She has gotten half of the savings that we had no thanks to her and she has gotten some money out of the house that she never really contributed to. Now she has her eyes on a portion of my retirement, another very unfair aspect of this mess we jokingly call divorce.
My youngest son got married, it was a rather small event with an even smaller ceremony, it was so short I am not even sure why they bothered. My estranged wife, brother and eldest son were all there and it was all very frosty which was fine by me. She actually wanted us to take a photo with the bride and groom but I have a policy of not taking photos with people who betray and drag on a court case that should have been over, well over a year ago. If Anna Maria had not been with me that weekend I don't think I would have made it through, god truely has sent me an angel and no matter how depressed I get I know for sure that she is a blessing from god and she keeps me going even at my darkest moments and when I am being a complete moron struggling to become an idiot.
Sorry this is so long but I have not written in a while, my body is rebelling against all the stress and I am mentally exhausted. I am at the point right now, that I just can't take any more I neeed some light at the end of the tunnel and come next month I better dam get some or something is going to have to give. I am not on here as much as I used to be but I do try to drop in from time to time. So yea I am still here and kicking.
Comments
Goodness, you are in a dark place. I'm truly sorry. And if I have helped contribute to that, let me know. I know sometimes it sounds like I am kicking your butt-and well I am. You have to find the way to be the star in your life, you have to find a way to be happy with who you are. And I know you can.
AloneinUtah
I'm battling lone feelings too. Hopefully something good will happen to you ;)
GeocacherNY
My friend... you have always had such words of wisdom for me. The weekend we met will always be a cherished moment in my life. It's ok get down.. we all do.... but if you get too deep.. here's my hand .. just grab it. She's such a special woman and a very lucky lady, Smile.... everything happens for a reason. I'm here for you...
Oestonee
Oh Wick I just wish it would get easier on you, I cannot believe how long this is taking. You are a great man that deserves happiness, I hope you find it soon. Much love.
solongbye
Dear Wickster... I've missed you so very much. I am so sorry to hear of your sadness and how things are going. I understand the feeling of having the life sucked out of you by some pirahna of an Ex.
Is there some counselling out there to help you cope with this funk my dear?.... I do care about you so much. Know that we are here for you always and are by your side.
CanadianRose
Big hugs to you. I am so sorry this is still dragging on. I did feel such relief when my divorce was finally over. I am so thankful my dear friend is an angel in your life. She has been an angel to me since I joined DS. Big hugs to you.
Mamalyn
I wish I could make it all better for you. A friend of mine is taking anti-depressents and dealing with something similar. The drugs helped him feel better, but in the end, he still has to deal with his life.
My only advice is to find something you like and to make time for it every day. In the end the only hope isn't to find the root of Unhappiness, instead it's to FIND happiness.
And never to wait until 'life gets better' to be happy, instead to just Screw the fates and Be Happy Anyway.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yHF...
(This from the worrywart...I'll never forget you telling me that. It's helped me chill out sometimes.)
patti22
Thanks every one for your kind comments and well wishes. I am doing better today and I actually saw my counselor yesterday. For me its not just one thing its a combination of many things and the feeling that the plate is starting to over flow. I know things could be a lot worse but its just hard being alone as much as I am. Not being with the one you really want to be with, the anticipation of the upcoming court date and the fact that my family is gone.
Its just that time is not healing all the wounds because there is never any closure. I am very thankful for the wonderful friends that I have here and again I really appriecate the support.
Wick
Hey Wick,
Long time no hear! Wish things were going well for you but remember to count the positive things. If you need a bud or someone to talk with I'm here. If you need a get-a-way to sunny Florida...come on down for a visit.
Mike
Mike40
Hang in there Wick, one more month and hopefully that will all be over with. There is distance between my guy and myself also but somehow we have managed for almost two years. In time we will be together on a regular basis. Keep seeing that counselor or talk to anyone to help with those feelings. HUGS
kinoka