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dazedanconfusedd 
4:13pm, September 9, 2009
My grandma has had alzhimers disease (spelling stinks sorry) for many, many years now. She was in Phoenix , AZ and I lived in CA. I went with my folks a few times to see her and even though she didn't know who I was, I still wanted to see her.
So I get a hair up my ass and decide to call the nursing home she was at and make sure she is still alive. I get the total run around. Oh let me let you talk to so and so....then I would talk to her and she would transfer me to somebody else.
I ended up on the phone with guest relations adn I knew that couldn't be good. First she said she couldn't find her and that we must be spelling her name wrong. I said no and was nice about it.
Finally this lady says...Oh I remember her, but she hasn't been here in months. So I tell her my situation and tell her I have NOBODY I can contact to find out if she died or not as my folks will not speak to me and I cannot find my aunts phone number anywhere.
She was very understanding, but basically said all she can tell me is she is no longer there.
My heart just sunk! Now don't get me wrong if she has indeed passed away I am happy she is with the Lord and happy now, but to think that my own parents, knowing how close grandma and I were would not at least email me to tell me just makes me so mad I could just spit fire!
I do not want to call my dad as last time I tried to call him to get info on my family history of breast cancer all he did was YELL at me and I finally just hung up on him after telling him I do not deserve to be yelled at this way. So that is just not an option.
I did email my dad, but he may have blocked my email, I don't know. So I made up another email and sent him one from that, although once he sees the email address, he may not even open it.
I have search online for my aunt and came up empty handed. I have nobody else to even ask?
I swear to you if I find out that my grandma passed away and NOBODY told me I will be so friggin pissed off....watch out!
My grandma is/was my hero all my life. She was my bets friend to whom I always went to for help, advice or just to hang out with her at work. I was her favorite and as adults, I was the only one that kept in touch with her out of her 4 granddaughters.
I don't know what to do here?
Comments
I even looked up in the arizona paper under obituaries for the past year and I cannot find her. I am scared to death to call my dad! Time for a xanax!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
dazedanconfusedd
OH sweatheart im so so sorry...i wish i had some advice, but i just dont. I know you cant call your family...& they are the key. OH i dont even know what to say, but i just feel SO bad for you. I wish i could help, let me know if i can do anything. You are in my thoughts & prayers.
LOVE & HUGS!!!
DeeKorn13
Well I sent an email to my father, figuring it is easier than confrontation on the phone. I sent it from two different email addresses, so we will see what happens from there.
dazedanconfusedd
The nursing home would know if she went to another one or passed way that is so typical red tape. I can't believe if they knew they would not tell you.
Kristen37
I feel so badly for you not knowing if your grandma has passed away or not. I don't understand why the nursing home doesn't know if she is has moved or passed away.
One thing you could try is google her name. It may work. Sometimes the different funeral homes also have websites that are keeping the names of people on their website too. So you could check the websites of the funeral homes in the area where you think her funeral may have been.
((((HUGE HUGSSS))))
mystie
I am so sorry
thompsol80726
This is so frustrating for you. I am so sorry. I hope that your Dad chooses to do the right thing and respond to you!I do understand because have several family members that do not acknowledge and won't speak to me either. Love and prayers to you.
hope39
Hi Jeanelle
I havent been on DS this week, so am just catching up. I hate hearing you going through this sweetie, you so just dont deserve this.
What kind of parents wouldn't tell you if your grandma had passed away!! that is just unthinkable.
I will catch up with you soon, and hope you have got some answers, what a terrible dilema to be in, I am thinking of you.
Love n hugs Beth xxxx
AngelEyezz