qtpi's Journal

I've been really busy lately trying to get my thesis written. I have to have it in by April 23rd in order to graduate in June. If I go past that date, then the next graduation ceremony is 2 weeks past my due date. I really hope I can get it in before then. I'm not sure about my first chapter that I wrote. Frankly, I think it really sucks. But we are all our own worst critic right? I'm just tired of letting my prof down. I want him to be impress for once. Well, maybe impressed is pushing it a little, I just want to know that I did a good job. I'm tired of my best never being good enough. It was like that when I worked too before I went to grad school. I'm starting to think that I'm just not cut out to work for people.

On that note, I"m still not sure what I'm going to do after the baby comes. I really want to stay home and be a stay at home mom. That has been one of my dreams since I was a little girl. My DH wants me to find a job and bring in a second income. With costs of child care, alot of people can't justify going to work because they can't make enough to cover the costs. With my degree I should be able to surpass that so it would be financially worth it for me to work. My other idea is to start a home daycare. well, I know nothing about taking care of children.. I've never worked with kids or anything, but I"m sure I'll make a great mom (everyone keeps telling me that.. I think they base alot of it on how we have trained and disaplined out dog because in some ways training a dog can be alot like disiplining a child.. so I'm told. Our dog is very well behaved compared to other dogs. My MIL who is not a dog person at all just adores Samson and I think thats because he's so well behaved). As far as taking care of other kids I'm not sure. I have a friend a church who's daughter started her own home daycare so maybe I can get some advice from her. I'm rambling now and I guess I should get back to my thesis. I still have 4 more chapters to write in about 4 wks (not including reviewing and corrections). I hope I'll be able to get on from time to time.