qtpi's Journal

Well, Stephen never brought it up on Saturday. He was waiting for his mom to so nothing happened. I asked him about it the second they left and I think he's afraid of confrontation. I wanted him to bring it up and talk to her because I think it will ring louder coming from him than from me. She's coming over today to be at the house while I go to my Dr.'s appointment. We have a contractor coming today to do some work on our basement and I'm not comfortable leaving the house with someone in it who I don't know that well. I hope she doesn't bring it up. If she does I guess I'll have to talk to her. I just hope this isn't going to become a habit. Its more than just the diapers. She does this alot. She basically tried to put our furniture where she wanted it when we moved in, She tried to pick out the paint colors for the nursery (I at least won on that one), she took the material I bought for the curtains in the nursery and made the curtains up herself. I really wanted to do them but she didn't even ask. She just took them and assumed. Then she asked for them back because she wasn't happy with them even though I thought they were fine. The cover the window what more do they need? When we came back from vacation all my kitchen cupboards were rearranged. She does stuff like this all the time. She even underminds me with the dog. When we had them over for dinner on Saturday, sometimes we let the dog lick the spoons or the dishes when we are done with them. Well he has been throwing up lately and I didn't want to give him any people food. I even said that and what does she do? Give him the spatula from dessert after I specifically said not to. She's always doing that. We had Samson for about 6 months before moving up to Canada and he had never had any people food. I liked it that way. I had control over him and he was well behaved. He's still pretty well behaved but I know he would be better if she wasn't always undermining me. The first night at their house and sure enough he got people food. Sometime she makes him his own bowl of ice cream! I'm really worried that this may happen with Alexander. She's already talking about getting him some expensive Christmas presents that he won't even be old enough to play with! I bet that she will get Alexander more stuff for Christmas than anyone else. I just don't want him to get too spoiled and get everything he wants (and more). that could be difficult to disapline not only that but how will he react when we decide to have another. I need to nip this in the bud really soon. I was just hoping that my DH would be able to take charge instead of me. She doesn't always listen to me. She cuts me off most of the time before I've finished what I'm saying and that just happens all the time in regular conversation. No wonder Stephen isn't a talker. He never was able to get a word in. He's probably extreamly careful about what he says to avoid unwanted comments from his mom. She will even talk and jabber on if you don't say anything. She will have a conversation with herself! Hopefully when the basement is finsished we can have a bit more breathing room.

On other topics, today is 2 weeks from my due date. I'm really getting anxious and uncomfortable. Its getting more and more difficult to get comfortable and to sleep. I really hope Alexander is born before my mom comes up. I'm really feeling awful being pregnant and I want it to be over. I can't believe I'm saying that after how long I wanted this. I just want to see my little boy and get my old figure back. I'm stretch marks are getting so awful I'm worried that my skin won't spring back and that my tummy will never be the same again. At my retreat we were talking about pregnancy stuff like stretch marks and what happens to your breats etc and one of my friends showed me her stretch marks. They looked really awful. She was bigger around that she was tall and she said that its not how they look, its how deep they go. Hers were really deep, if you run your fingers over them you can really feel them. You can't feel mine that well so she said mine won't be so bad and that they will probably for the most part disappear afterwards. Some of mine you can feel though. I'm just worried and not really feeling like myself. Its been so long since I got all dressed up and felt good with the way I look. I'll probably feel better once I start seeing my old self.

Hope everyone is ok.