qtpi's Journal

Ok I'm not trying to be vain or anything but I'm officially freaked out. I finally got up the courage to weigh myself this morning and it said 183. That means I've gained 45 lbs! over this pregnancy. I'm not sure where I'm putting it all becauseI don't think I look any bigger anywhere else (except maybe my thighs). I still have 8 more weeks to go and the baby has to grow more so I'm afraid what wieght I'll end up with by the end and what I will look like when all this is over. I've been told by a few people who had excessive weight gain during their pregnancies and it was all fluid. I REALLY hope thats true with me. Weight is a big issue with me. Diabetes runs in my family. I was worried about diabetes before it became a national epidemic. On top of that, everyone in my family is overweight... my mom, my sister, my brother, my grandma etc. I'm just scared out of my mind that I will never get back down to my wedding wieght of 130. That's the goal I 've set for myself through out this whole pregnancy is that I want to get back down to 130 by my birthday which is March 10th. That gives me a little over 5 months to do it (which Christmas in the middle and through the winter where its 3 feet of snow for most of that time). I just don't know what to do at this point. I want to get a trainer but my DH keeps saying that he doesn't want me to spend that kind of money on it. He's worried about the cost. Can he really put a price on having his wife look good and feeling awsome about herself? He wants me to do it on my own but I know me.. I don't have the disapline. I'm just kind of stuck and upset at the moment because I have to keep gaining weight and there is nothing I can do about it.