Dying.
October 10, 2009 4:24am
Not angry anymore. Not fighting it anymore.
As a miserable, fat, ugly, stupid waste of space on the planet, it is my duty and the only good …
GraceWest
11:20pm, July 6, 2009
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About Me
GraceWest
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About Me
Mom of teenage girls who lost their dad to brain cancer. I love my kids and treasure the chance to be a good mom. I like hiking, travel, photography and all creatures great and small. Was once a hotshot equestrian, now a fulltime freelance writer. Remarried and trying to work that out though the situation is tough right now.
Mom of teenage girls who lost their dad to brain cancer. I love my kids and treasure the chance to be a good mom. I like hiking, travel, photography and all creatures great and small. Was once a hotshot equestrian, now a fulltime freelance writer. Remarried and trying to work that out though the situation is tough right now.
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Journal
This entry is private
This entry is private
This entry is private
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Ignored by stepkids&husband on my birthday
September 17, 2009 6:11am
Par for the effed up course.
Husband is out of the country for my birthday again, his kids do not send me not so much as a lousy email.
My …
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Hugbook
Hug
I'm sorry to see the red frownie. I hope your Thanksgiving is a good one, Friend.
Chocolate
Sending some chocolate to you....enjoy!
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Hug
Thinking of you, and hope your week is good.
Hug
I reread your post of 10/16 again, and I saw that you've not added to it since, so I hope you don't mind that I just thought I'd send you a hug and ask if you're doing ok. He has no right to do that to you, and somewhere you have to find the strength to stop letting him. Take care, and hope you're ok.
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Moment of Peace
Hi Grace....just saying hello, and have a good weekend. *Hugs*
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Photos
GraceWest hasn’t uploaded any photos yet
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Support Groups
Close Physical & Emotional Abuse
Currently married to a classic abuser. If anyone wants to do a reality show about abuse, by all means, turn the cameras on us.
Treatments
- Group Therapy Too Soon to Tell
- just started... hoping to learn about what I can do with my own behavior to make this more tenable. So far I love the people I've met who are so smart and supportive!
- Abuse Counseling Too Soon to Tell
- Writing Working / Worked
- It really helps to get it out in a safe place, since it does =0= good to bring anything up with him. I have come to rely on my journals.
Close Bereavement
Type: Loss of a Partner/SpouseThe father of my daughters died. Brain cancer. It took him very quickly. We are still reeling from the loss. I seek input here regarding the children's loss of their father and my own feelings of loss and confusion.
Treatments
- Crying Working / Worked
- Prayer Somewhat Helpful
- Psychotherapy Somewhat Helpful
- Writing Working / Worked
Open Depression
Tired of the blame game. Depression is not a choice. I am trying to find new ways to deal with what I believe to be my chemical reality. :)
Treatments
- Prozac Somewhat Helpful
- Definitely takes the edge off the hurt, but also leaves me feeling very sleepy. Another weird effect: prozac makes me yawn a lot!
- Psychotherapy Somewhat Helpful
- Glad to have someone to talk to, but overall not sure I am making progress.
- Physical Exercise Working / Worked
- Probably the best thing for feeling better. Only drawback is that it's very tough to motivate when you're depressed! Still, I ran a 1/2 marathon last year - felt great!
- Writing Working / Worked
- When no one else will listen, writing is a place where I can listen to myself.
Open Infidelity
Treatments
- Couples Counseling Considering
- Recently in my women's group, I was told that couples counseling is not nearly as effective as individual counseling for each of the partners. What do you think?
- Writing Working / Worked
- It's nice to vent in a private place where no one argues back. That's why writing is so helpful.
Open Parenting Teenagers (12-18)
Mom of two teenage daughters, stepmom to two more!
Open Insomnia
Can't sleep... I feel guilty when I sleep because my husband thinks I am slacking. Also, this is the only time I get to myself when he is not on my case.
Open Alcoholism
Treatments
- AA Meetings Not Working
- Cold Turkey Not Working
- Sleep Somewhat Helpful
- Yoga Working / Worked
- If I can get myself to the classes yoga really helps. I like the challenge and I love it that I have to show up clean and hydrated for the class cuz if I dont it is 90 minutes of hell and humiliation.
Open Diets & Weight Maintenance
Treatments
- Counting Calories Working / Worked
- This works, but it is very hard for me. I tend to get very obsessed about food when I count calories, and ultimately I end up splurging. The few times I've been able to stick with it, I used a computer calorie tracker and that helped.
- Eating Healthier Foods Working / Worked
- Physical Exercise Working / Worked
- I lost 20 pounds last summer (May - September) just by walking 90 minutes a day.
Open Sexual Abuse
Trying to learn how to support my husband who is an incest survivor.
Open Arnold-Chiari Malformation
Stepdaughter has Chiari malformation, underwent decompression surgery in 2005 and is now undergoing cranial fusion surgery.
Treatments
- Surgery, Brain Not Working
- So far decompression surgery has not proved to be the answer. She has had problems for 3 years and therefore is now about to have cranial fusion surgery. We feel so uncertain as to whether this is the right thing to do.
Open Hepatitis C
Dear friend has Hep C, and has been told he has 5 years or less to live. I don't understand this dire prognosis, and I want to learn more in an effort to help him.
Open Family Issues
confusion about my family and the way they treat me
Treatments
- Writing Not Working
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Groups
