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Debbieb 
4:30pm, November 18, 2009
I guess I should let yesterday be a lesson in perspective . . . a lesson I need to use right now.
Finally got the call . . . and I have to be true to my feelings . . . and then I'll try to work on that whole perspective thing . . . but the truth is . . . I'm a bit disappointed . . . maybe more than a bit . . .
We got 11 mature eggs . . . but only 7 fertilized . . . 7 . . .
That's just strange to me . . . We had only 5 mature eggs last time (with my eggs) . . . and all 5 fertilized (100%). We had 10 mature eggs the first time (again my eggs) and 9 fertilized (90%) . . . and now, just a 64% fertilization rate . . . ????? . . . not at all what I expected to hear . . . just wasn't even in the realm of possibilities I was considering . . .
Trying not to read too much into it . . . but I just wasn't expecting such a low fertilization rate. I was thrilled to hear 11 . . . and then my heart sank when I heard the 7. I know . . . I know . . . it only takes one (or two!) . . . and what's important is how they develop between now and Friday. But realistically, only a certain percentage will become blasts . . . I just hope they develop well . . . Oh, how I am hoping . . . we really need 2-3 nice blasts for transfer . . . realistically totsicles are now not likely . . . :(
So . . . I know . . . anything could happen . . . and her eggs should certainly develop better than mine did . . . maybe all the poorer quality ones just didn't make it from the start and all of these will do well . . . ????? . . . no point trying to make sense of it . . . what will happen, will happen whether I worry about it or not . . . what will be will be . . . if it's meant to happen, it will . . .
I will work on my perspective . . . and try to focus on the bright side . . .
It's just going to be a really long wait until Friday . . . they won't give us any more info about how they are doing until I'm laying there all prepped and needing to pee, ready for the transfer . . . too bad they don't hand out the Valium until that morning . . .
Comments
I know that you are disappointed, but remember that her eggs are young and fertile! I understand what you are going through because I would be feeling the same way. Don't feel bad about your feelings. They are normal.
Try to remember that eggs of a 20-something are way more potent that our eggs. They are super-reproductive eggs! :-)
I agree with you on the Valium. My husband actually asked the nurse if I could start taking them a few days ago because I was such a stress ball. Sadly, they said no. I'm convinced that if they let us get on them early, we'd all be pregnant. As my doctor says, it's not about quantity, it's about quality.
Hang in there and I'll be praying for you!
LaraTX
You are allowed to be disappointed...let it come and then let it go b/c the super 7 are going to make you a mommy. 7 is great! You have no reason to think that they won't all develop into blasts...really. As much as I can, I understand the let down but I still have a great, great feeling about this cycle! Just a couple of weeks and you are going to be pregnant!
laraM
Thanks you guys! I am working on changing my perspective and your comments helped . . . and for once my google-ing did too. Estimates vary of course . . . but generally what I found was on average 70-85% of eggs injected with viable sperm fertilize . . . so I guess we were just extra lucky with abnormally high fert rates before . . . there's just always something to worry about . . . and then there's all these hormones . . . what a wonderful mix . . . !!
Debbieb
I completely understand! Our donor had 20 follies, but only 7 retrieved and only 6 fertilized. I was devestated! 4 made it to our day 3 transfer and then only 3 were good. None made it to freeze. I'm almost 29 weeks pregnant today. They were nice young eggs. A lot of us only got a few good eggs from our donor and we are all pg. So don't give up hope!!!! Quality over quantity!
klimawife
I agree with all the above... it only takes one! :-)
MDB
Yes...quality over quantity...only takes one...I agree. But that being said, I can understand why you are feeling disappointed. Just remember that of those 7, one will become your child!!!! Still thinking positively for you!!!!
Jenn17
I completely understand you being disappointed. One of my cycles they retrived like 19 and only 4 were good enough come transfer day and it was a day 3 transfer. All 3 of my cycles resulted in no frozen embies but out of 3 transfers I had 4 take so always remember quality over quantity. I know how hard it is though to keep that perspective when you are the one going through the cycle. I really have a great feeling about this cycle for you. I just know by this time next year you will be looking at your baby(s) and commenting on how fast tey have grown!!! Good luck sweetie.
Jenelle8