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ksmimi 
12:50pm, October 2, 2008
We are going to see our family this weekend. I am excited but I am having some anxiety lately. It doesn't feel very good and I am taking my meds. There just seems to be alot of things that are going on right now that are just plain scary to me. It isn't anything really big but big enough to make me worry. I just need these kids to get on their own and be doing ok. I know they can do it it is just will they do it. I don't know and that is driving me crazy. Not to mention the money problems with the dr bills we are having right now. I think the kids will either sink or swim like I have said before but it just scares me to death for some reason. It is obsessing me and I just can't stand it anymore. I am comsumed with it. If I could just get that out of my head then I would feel alot more at peace than I am right now. I would hope I would anyway. Who knows I may find something else. I just need some peace so badly. It is hard to live day after day with the fear that I have all the time. The xanax just doesn't take care of it like it use to. I am able to take two a day now but when I do I get so tired so I just take one and it doesn't work. Maybe after this weekend I will feel a little better.
