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ksmimi 
12:50pm, October 2, 2008
I have been feeling pretty good lately. I got to rest some yesterday and that is what I need is some rest. Rachel and Kodan will be going to Ok this weekend and I will get a break from them anyway. I won't have to worry about them for a couple of days. Well I will worry about her drive but you know what I mean. I won't have to worry about the day to day stuff. Maybe get a few things cleaned or something who knows. I am still worried about her moving out but not as bad today as most days. Tomorrow may be different who knows. Kodan got his hair cut again and did pretty good. He is a challenge on alot of days and a breaze on others but I guess it is like that for any child. Rick is needing new glasses and I hope he gets some that help him see better this time. I wrote toalot of friends this time and wished them to feel better. The weather is getting better and better here at the moment and it is feeling so good. I guess I will be getting out some this weekend just to enjoy the weather if nothing else. That will be nice. I don't know what we will do but something is better than nothing I guess.
WEnt out for awhile yesterday. It felt goood at first but was ready to come back home after only a couple of hours. I just got tired and was feeling a little anxiety. Don't know why but everything around me just started bugging me. I was glad I went though. I am home all day today though and that feels better to me. I am suppose to go with my daughter tomorrow and hopefully we won't be gone long. She is making me a nervous wreck on some of the decisions she is trying to make before she even moves out. She needs to see how she is going to make it before she does anything else before she starts putting other things in the way. Michael is driving me crazy with all this college stuff that is going on. He doesn't even try to do things on his own he just expects his dad to handle everything while he does minimal amount of work to it. Of course he doesn't like to put too much work into anything except what he wants to do and not what needs to be done. We try to talk to him about it but he just blows us off and acts like we are stupid or something and then comes back to us with the same problems we tried towarn him about. I guess that is being a teenager. I just am glad for these kids to grow up and get on with their lives.
I am feeling a little scared today. Sometimes I just want to move back home but I know Rick just doesn 't want to do that I don't either but yet I do. I miss the layed back living of it all and I miss having a yard and a little bit of land to go with it. It would be nice to have my mom and dad that close to me again. I just know Rick will never go for it. I have made a stink about wanting to live in or near a big city for so long he just will never want to live there again. It would also be cheaper to live there. I am also torn between leaving Rachel here even though I know Warner isn't a good place for her to live. I didn have a couple of good days off and a relaxing time and it felt good for it to be just me and Rick. I do pray that God will find Rachel someone to marry and look after her and they could share the bills and have a little something. That would be the biggest load off of my mind would be if she found someone to be with and then I wouldn't worry about her as much as I do. I have a feeling it will take her awhile to do this though.
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Is Rachel your daughter? How old is she?
HarrietDash