Join Now
ashtanga 
This is the first time, that I have entered a entry, never thought that I would want to. I'm in a dark place, and don't know what else to do. I lost my father on Oct 10,2007. My heart is in so much pain. I have no joy, no hunger, no anything. I cry everyday, and have been told that's normal. I don't feel normal. I'm on anti dep's already, take pain pills, and anti inflammatories, as well as muscle relaxants. I have been taking more and more pain pills. I feel sick to my stomach everyday. Guess writing this out, is some kind of therapy.
I have to stay strong for my mother, but she does not know how much I'm hurting, nor does my dh, he does not ask. I feel so empty, and lost. Thanks for listening, even if you don't it might help me some.
Donna W
Comments
Oh, I'm so sorry that you are going through this pain, I know how you feel, I lost my Dad 17 years ago last month and lost my Mom 2 years ago last month.
When my Dad passed away, I thought the whole world should just stop because, I was in so much pain.
You have to take time to grief, or you will never start to heal.
If you need me I'm here for you.
I hope and pray that you will find some comfort.
((((((((BIG HUGS))))))))
GRUMPYMOM
My Dad died 6 months ago, you are not alone.
don't try and be too strong, I was doing that up until he last couple of weeks, now if I dont fel up to talking to my Mum or any other family member I let the phone ring ot. You have to look after you first, and let yourself feel all the emotions, even if they are horrible. It will get different, i promise, and it will get easier to get through the days.
((((hugs))))
dilli
What a small world, I lost my dad last year in april also, I have yet to put back pics of him.. I'm not able to.
Try to sit aside time for things if that's possible, it sounds strange to set aside time to think about your dad, be sad etc. but it is a skill you can achieve.
Remember, your energy is scarce use it wisely. Grief and worry use up an amazing amount of energy so if you're having an especially bad day it WILL use your energy. I've found a good way to 'suspend' thought is to watercolor paint. The concentration requires you to think to make those strokes,,,, now, I know what you're thinkin' you don't have time and paint real ugly... not to worry because the paper doesn't know what's on it or that you've only painted on it for 10 minutes. I promise you it is a very effective tool to fight off depression and frustration both. I wish you well.
peppershaker