Journal

Well, been a while old friend. Rainy tonite, hurting of course. A bit anxious over the up-coming surgery next Wed. Dreading mostly.

Had a great weekend with my old buddy Spyder and his wife. Did not think it was possible to physically connect to someone over the internet. It happened, and much to my delight, I feel hubby & I have found a couple of  "for-the-long-haul" friends.

We had the best time at Carolina Beach. fossil hunting in the quarry, eating out at different restaurants every meal. Visiting the local Watering holes and having a beer.

Went to this one place, "The Fat Pelican". Been there since 1986. You go into their large refrigiated cooler and pick out what ever beer ya want. They have stuff I've never imagained. Around 400 different beers. They will pop your top & give you a pen to write on their walls, vintage stuff, floors, whatever. Really cool place.

Life is so-so right now. What is it when your kids are having struggles/hurting, you have them as well. It's like if they are not happy, centered, successful, then you are not as well. Must be that maternal thing going on. If they are not happy, momma's not happy.lol

So many struggles these days. My heart goes out to the world. China's quake, USA tornados, Mu----- cyclone. Angelina having twins with my man Brad. So much turmoil.

I say this because of the hyper-sensitive  beings we fibro sufferers are. To much stimulus always sends me into overload. Thank God I believe in him. He is the only reason I've not self-destructed by my own hand.

There was a time where I felt un-worth. Felt like God did not know my name, actually verbalized that to a friend. Went to a church, un-announced, and He told me thru the minister, at the end of the service.  Minister looked me square in the eye and said; "You know God knows who you are, he knows your name & he loves you". You want to talk about blown away! That is my most profound God Moment & will never forget it.

God leads my Life & I'm glad of it. I'm not a holy-roller. Not a bible-toting, holier-than-thou, in church every minute. I'm merely God's child. I acknowledge him & he annoints me. Can go to a beautiful tree & talk with him as easily as in a synagouge/temple.   He is most accessible. Better than the internet, guys let me tell

 you.

So, need to go & snuggle with my puppies & lay this tired body down. Not sure I care who reads this. Take from it what you will.  It's my journal anyways.

If there is anyone who may happen upon this & read, will you say a prayer, request, chant, etc. that this impending surgery may give me some relief?

Goodnite Molly, goodnite Sadie, I luv u my pups.

 Had to go to the Dermatalogist this morning. He biopsied two questionable places. One on my chest & the other on left shoulder. The one on my chest has us a little concerned. won't know results till end of week or first of next week. Wish me luck.

Went to the doctor Mon. for monthly update/meds Rx. This time I wrote things to discuss down so as not to forget as I usually do. Found out it's ok to take the Flaxseed oil & B-12 & Super-B supplements with my meds.

We discussed the problems with my neck. Pain is getting worse, muscles tighter & left arm hurting/numb. She checked Neuro's notes and he said that the only thing that can be done is surgery. I have Osteoarthritis in all 7 levels with bone spurs & nerve impingement. He gave me a epidural/cortisone shot last May & I had a terrible allergic reaction to it for 3 months. He says we can't do that anymore. She is sending me back to him to schedule surgery. Not looking forward to this at all.

Then she checked my ears because I told her the fluid in there never goes away. It's causing the vertigo to get worse. Wouldn't you know it, double ear infections. Funny thing is they don't hurt. Just itch & my hearing is getting worse. she is sending me to ENT for possible tubes to be put in. What the hey? I thought that was just for kids.lol  She says sometimes adults have it done with chronic ear problems. I guess this is chronic. Been dealing with it about 5 years.

So, all this bad news just sucks. The only good thing was I lost 4 lbs. since last month. (yeah Me!) guess I'll just have to take it all a day at a time. so tired of this freaking fatigue & pain. Feels like god needs to do a Re-Call on my body & possibly give me a new one. One that's not falling apart at age 46.

I saw one of my favorite patients on Thurs. Have to be careful here because of the Hippa laws, so names will be changed to protect the innocent.lol

Sam is a 10-yr. old boy with several conditions affecting his young life. He has Scoliosis, leg length discrepancy, feet are two different sizes, and the big one; Proteus Syndrome. Most people know this condition as Elephant Man syndrome.

This is the cutest blonde headed, intelligent kid I have met in a while. He wears his "Harry Potter" glasses, that are pretty thick. His Mom is a precious soul who loves her son and fights for him. They have a special close bond that is inspiring to all around them. Mom has the bluest eyes I've ever seen. They are a turquoise color, Not that this matters, I just wanted to throw that in.

Sam & mom came to us a year ago for the first time. This kid & I bonded very quickly. He touched my heart & he mentioned his love of fossils and sharks teeth. I told him on his appointment to be fitted in garment, I would bring in my Meg's for him to see. He knew instantly what they were.

Doctor wrote Rx for compression garment from waist to thighs. Sam's right side is larger than the left & needed compression on a tumor in his lumbar/bottocks region. I decided to make him "biker shorts". They would look like regular shorts, but tight. It's important for kids to look normal around other kids, & this garment would go unnoticed by others. Did my measurments, gave Sam his stickers & told him I'd see him on next appointment to be fitted.

Sam came back, Garment was a perfect fit. I gave him a container full of "shark teeth & sand". I really loaded the teeth in there, so he could sift thru & "find" the teeth. He loved it. Was fascinated by the Meg's.

Well, Sam & mom came back last Thurs. for another compression garment. My, how he has grown. While measuring him, I noticed his lumbar/butt are had grown & was larger than last time I saw him. Mom whispered to me that Sam would have yet another operation in July. He did not know it yet. Broke my heart.

But I did have good news for them. His insurance would buy him one pair of the mis-mate shoes per year. That way he could have shoes that actually fit both feet & not have to stuff cotton balls in the toe of his shoe. He was excited. Plus, mom indicated the pain he was having from the leg length discrepancy. He was having to take a lot of Motrin.LLD can cause pain in the knees, hips, back, shoulders due to the body being shorter on one side.

Told Mom, we could do a shoe build-up to compensate. Measured Sam's legs and found his left leg is 1" shorter than right. Wow, that is a significant LLD. No wonder the little guy was in so much pain. We will fix that, just by building up the sole of his left shoe and put him straight again.

I really believe God put's certain people in our lives for a reason. Sam is an inspiration to me. His positive attitude and youthful outlook on life is something all of us can learn from.

Sam is dear to my heart & always in my prayers. I just love that little guy!