Hi im lost and confused. I have …
Hi im lost and confused. I have a 4 year old who has austism. I have not been able to find any help in my community and …
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mom4 
3:29pm, February 8, 2009
Well, i am feeling really bad today. My place of employment has laid off 16 people yesterday including my best friend. It terrifies me to think about losing my job. I dont know what my husband and I would do. All I can think about is looking at my children and trying to figure out what to do to keep a roof over their heads and food in their mouths. It is really scary to think about and it is really affecting me. They say they are done and that those who are here are ok but it is very unsettling to me and making me very upset. I feel like I could just sit here and cry. I watched a program on T.V. one time and they were talking about the homeless crisis and this one woman made a very profound statement, we are all a paycheck away from being homeless..........
Also, Jacob has been really sick since sunday, fever, congestion, coughing. He woke up Monday with croupe, I thought they were supposed to grow out of that as they got older not get it!!! Anyway, we took him to the Dr. and he did'nt have the flu or strep. Thank god, he had a flu shot so I didnt think it was that but you never know. But he looks bad and he is miserable and they said it's a bad virus and it will just haver to run its course.
needless to say I have been on germ patrol. Lysol and Bleach in hand spraying and wiping down everything I can!!! I am a confessed germ a phobe but I think you kind of have to be with 4 kids. I am desperately trying to prevent the other 3 kids from getting it especially the baby.
I feel so horribly sad these last few days, I hope I will snap out of it soon. Sick kids, my job, the baby is about to turn a year old, that is a good thing but also sad for me. She is my baby and this year has flown by and I want her to stay a baby as long as she can.
I wish I could tell my kids to stay young, have fun, enjoy being little and care free while you can. Dont grow up so fast, it isnt better as an adult , just a lot more work and worry. But they dont listen, they never do and they never will. Our parents said the same thing and did we listen??? NO, probably not. I wish I could go back and change some of the stupid things I did and I wish I didnt try to grow up so fast.... I wish I could tell me back then slow down............................
Well, time to go home and see what the estimate is for the windows to be replaced in the basement. It is too cold down there when it gets cold here, so cold I dont want the kidss down there to play. If its not one thing its another........................
Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day.....goodnight
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i am sorry about your job being so stressful. keep trying to be calm though for your kids. you will get through, i have shed many a tear worrying over finances i kept reminding that we will get through. i am also on the war against germs. it seems that every little sniffle since that first fever reminds me that i need to sanitize our living space and everything she touches. Stay healthy!
SnoopBella
I'm so sorry you're feeling so low. I spoke to a counselor when my son was first diagnosed. It was supposedly to talk about my son and help me develop strategies, but really she was just a good listener and I could tell her about his behaviors without judgement and it really helped that someone listened.
The most important thing for your family is a mother who's at least a peace even if she's not 'happy'. Good luck!
triciah