Journal

Hi everyone,

It’s been a year since I began this journey.  I know I am a different person than I was last year.  I live for the moments and not wait for the moments to come to me.  My faith has only gotten stronger during all this and I am reminded that if the Lord brings you to it he will bring you through it.

I apologize for not posting an update in the last couple of months. No news is good news … right?

In March my family physician had me go in for the dreaded mammogram.  I know I’ve hit that magic number where I now have to have one once a year.  In light of last year and everything I went through I figured it would be a clean bill of health and I was correct.

Back in February my oncologist told me that after May 1st I needed to schedule a chest x-ray and a CT.  I had both done last week.  Last year when I had my PET scan done I had to drink the nice chalk for the test.  I again had to do that for the CT, however, I failed to remember the nasty taste of that stuff going down. 

The tech last week told me a trick though.  If you have one of these and have to drink the “chalk” you might want to write this down.  You take one 8oz glass of the chalk out, add a tbsp of crystal light, mix it up, dump it back in with the rest of the “chalk”, and shake vigorously.  I have to tell you that made a world of difference in the taste of it.  Why don’t they tell this to you when you pick the “chalk” up?

Today I had my 6 month check-up.  I was a bit apprehensive about going because I knew I would find out the results of the tests I did last week.  I tried to reassure myself that all would be fine but you know doubt always has to creep in.

On the way to the Doctor’s office I was listening to my MP3 Player.  For my birthday David bought me an adapter for the car so I could listen to it through the radio.  I have my MP3 player set on random.  The song by Matt Redman called Heart of Worship came on.  I’ve sang this song in church with the group I belong too as a matter a fact we are singing this song on Sunday.  Today the song took on a new meaning. 

I was singing along when all the sudden the words hit me.  I got to the chorus part and started bawling.  The chorus part that touched me was .. I’m sorry Lord for the thing I’ve made it, When it’s all about You, It’s all about You Jesus.   

 Why was I worried about my doctor visit?  I shouldn’t be concerned about the results.  Whatever is said I will be able to get through it all because I know Jesus in my heart and that is all that matters.  I am reminded of Proverbs 3:5 .. Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.

I felt a renewed sense of peace and all my apprehension faded away.  I don’t think I have ever been so calm waiting in the doctor’s office as I was today.  The doctor told me that everything looked great and that my CT and Chest x-ray were clear. 

I had to laugh this is the first visit to the doctor’s office since my chemo that I have had hair and not worn a cap.  The doctor walked in and said he loved my hair and so did the nursing staff.  He said he liked what I had done to my hair.  Ha ha I don’t do anything but what he actually meant was that he liked that I hadn’t colored it and that I am just letting it be natural.

I’m not sure on Sunday if I will be able to sing Heart of Worship with my group without getting emotional.  My faith has remained strong through all of this I guess I needed a reminder.  Music has and will always be an integral part of my faith journey.  Singing is the one of the best ways I know to praise the Lord and give thanks for all he has done in my life.

I challenge you to look at the words of this song and find your own personal meaning.  I wanted to add the lyrics to my entry but I’ve maxed out the length .. go figure.  I’ll try to post an entry sooner next time.

God is good ALL THE TIME.

Blessings to each and every one of you,

My hair is so thick that I’ve always had hair falling out on a continual basis especially when I washed or combed my hair.  I was running my fingers through my hair last evening and I was getting a bit more hair than usual.  Every time I ran my fingers through my hair I would have at least 6 strands in my fingers.

When I washed my hair this morning I had handfuls of hair coming out.  I decided to take my destiny in my own hands.  While at school today I called my hairdresser.  She got me in this afternoon and I got my hair cut.  I have never in my life had my hair this short.  My hair is shorter than my son’s. 

I now officially have an Uncle John haircut.  I’ve posted a picture so everyone can see my new doo.