Journal

I don't know what is going on with me.  Dudley being sick is physically and emotionally exhausting.  I just burst into tears at the very thought of something being seriously wrong and I keep dreaming about sick and dying pets. pets I've never had.

Dudley is doing fine other than the bump on his chin.  He's eating, drinking, going potty, playing and even wanting to chew on toys (which the vet said to keep him away from).  We go back to the vet on Monday and I can't wait and am terrified at that same time.  I just pray we get good news.  I keep trying to come up with contingency plans for if we get bad news.  Where to take him, what to do, how much it will cost.  Everyday I solve problems, devise plans of action and implement them, but it is killing me that I can't solve this.  I can't fix him.

My husband and I don't have kids and may never have kids.  Dudley is my baby.  I sat up with him at night when he couldn't sleep alone as a puppy when all he wanted to do was curl up on my chest and that made his world perfect.  I feel so helpless that I can't make it better for him.  All I can do is beg God to be with us and protect Dudley. 

Right now Dudley seems to be doing o.k.  He is eating and playing and other than when we give him his medicine, you would never know there was something wrong.  We go back to the vet next Tuesday.  I will now be seeing the owner of this practice who has a vet for 37 years.  I am hoping his experience will be able to help Dudley.

Still praying for a positive outcome and full recovery.