I am scared out of my mind. I am …
I am scared out of my mind. I am the oldest of 8 children and I have 4 children of my own. I just started college and …
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Lynne72 
I guess that's what I get for thinking that certain things don't "trigger" me anymore. The last few days I have gone from blind rage to resentment then finally exsaustion. I just don't have the stength to be angry anymore.
My friend called again today, the newly pregnant one (she has also experienced numerous losses herself). I am really happy for her (she so deserves this), but I am so jealous. It's completely illogical for me to feel this way. She is so excited, and it kills me that that her excitment hurts me so much.
I say the right things, while inside I am so bitter. I hate this feeling.
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Thank you for your comments on my recent journal, Lynne... and how painful it must be either way you look... when you see a successful pregnancy you feel the normal feelings of longing and jealousy... when you hear of a m/c you feel enourmous compassion and it must take you there all over again. I am so sorry that you are in pain. I am REALLY sorry that you are feeling guilty about the way you feel. Sometimes our feelings surprised us and that is our humanity honey... If jealousy wasn't a normal feeling it wouldn't even have a name! You didn't invent it you know. ... please be kind to yourself. Take a slow deep breath and keep doing what I know you are doing... moving on day by day... Every thing is going to be all right. I wish I could give you a big hug right now...
Donna
standstrong
I understand how you must be feeling. Most of my friends recently gave birth to their little babies while some are still pregnant. I am surrounded by this daily and I am happy for them all, yet so unbelievably jealous. It's drive me crazy inside!
Many things are going to trigger it and set you off and as exhausting it may be, ya gotta still keep letting it all out!
We're all here for you!
xoxox
kapple