I am scared out of my mind. I am …
I am scared out of my mind. I am the oldest of 8 children and I have 4 children of my own. I just started college and …
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Lynne72 
I don't get it. I'm going along fine, doing reasonably well, and bam out of the blue all the old feelings come back again. Truthfully, I know what set it off. A close friend is pregnant, just newly. She has struggled for a long time (4 years), I've been praying for her to get pregnant since we met. I am truly happy for her, but it struck something inside me. As she was telling me her joyous news, it started to hurt inside, and it hasn't stopped.
I miss my babies so much. I am so angry. This house should be bursting with children. I don't even know who I'm angry at. I just want to throw a huge temper tantrum and scream and throw things, but what good would it do? Just one moment, that's all I want. To hold them and smell them and tell them I love them.
I get the whole there being a "purpose to life and to death" idea, and that their lives however brief were not without significance. But it doesn't make it any easier.
I just want them back. It hurts today.
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I'm so sorry you are in such pain today. It's okay to be mad and sad and run the gammet of feelings. You miss your babies. And you have to grieve in your own time and in your own way. It's better to get it out instead holding it in or pretending that it isn't there at all. I hope you heart can heal, and I pray God gives you what you desire. *BIG HUGS*
Webstergirl
So sorry ,nothing to say ,just know we are here ...
stephanieN
I'm here for you!!!! I told my husband the other day that grief is a thing with a big fat fist!!!! You'll be cruising along and then all of a sudden wham!!! grief punches you in the stomach and reminds you all over again why you hurt.
Hang in there and let yourself get angry - you'll feel better after releasing some frustrations xox
hanna30