Journal

Well there is is two more days before my surgery and I am feeling a little anxious. What if they discover ovarian cancer or that my uterus can not be fixed? what if they mess up and I can never have children naturally? what if....I just want to get it over and done with.

I pray that it goes well and that it cures my PCOs. I do not have to get pregnant as a result..I just want to get AF every month without meds. I just want to feel normal and loose the hair in places that it should not be...as well as loose the weight that PCO gives you....I just want to be like every other normal female who does not have PCOs.

Today we went to the ARE held by our local Children's aid. There are so many children out there who need a stable and routined environment. These poor children have been born into horrible situations...even from conception they have had to struggle to maintain a sane existence. We almost put our names in to adopt a 14 year boy..unfortunately we were not the right culture...One of the workers did give us hope. she told us that the children presented at the ARE are harder to place kids and that there are more who do not have mental/emotional/physical or intellectual disabilities. She also was thrilled that we are an inter-racial couple. This is very sought after and she was certain that with in a couple of months that we could be parents of any child...even children as young as 1 years old. We brought home some of the profiles for the children to look at. I am already in love with them, but we can not adopt until our homestudy is completed.

Things are looking a little brighter in that realm...