blondie073's Journal

I took the summer off to better myself. It meant taking time off from my friends, going to my cottage without any way to contact the outside world, and one yellow swing, but I managed to do it.

There is a lot to say for meditation. Some people need silence and a yoga mat. I need music so loud I can't hear anything else and a swing up in the trees. I need the constant back-and-forth movement to keep me thinking.

I don't need a clear head. I need my thoughts to swirl around and wisp outwards.

But I've done it. I am different than the girl I was when I started grade 10 the first time. This year, I know who I am. I'm not still shaking from the loss of two friends. I'm not fearful of what awaits me. I can honestly say I have a foundation.

I know people judge. I'm ready for that. I can take that. I know they'll talk, but that's fine. I'm ready to face it.

I'm in a good place right now. I like this girl. We're good friends. We can move mountains together. And I have a great group of friends to support me with everything, parents who are working on keeping their marriage together, and a best friend/sister who's counting down the days until she's in my school.

This time when I do grade 10, I'll get it right. I won't ditch every day. I will do my homework. I will try my hardest to make friends and to socialize. I need to get back into the world. I've been on a break for a long time now.

It's time. Time to move on from what happened. Time to step forward into the unknown. Time to let go of old grudges and face the new day.

Time for change.