blondie073's Journal

Right now, my tummy hurts. Because I had to take laxatives. Because the hospital said so. And my wrist hurts. Because Emma keeps hurting me and I don't think she knows. Because she keeps trying to fix things and she only makes it worse.

I don't like this. I'm hoping I'll lose weight because of the laxatives though. That would be nice. I'm standing around 116-119lbs and I don't like this. It's too much for me. I'd like to be at 105-110. That'd be perfect for me. Yes.

I hate that I keep wanting to cut. I hate it so much. I want to be freed from this awful addiction. I thought I was. So why am I still here? Why am I still in the same position?

Fuck you Emma for trying to help me because you only made it worse. You only made me hurt more. You can leave now. I don't need you at all.

This hurts.

This really hurts.

This really fucking hurts.

Ouchy.